SENSITIVE POST WITH POSSIBLE TRIGGERS
There are many symptoms of endometriosis, including back pain, fatigue, depression, bloating, painful periods, pain during ovulation, hormonal imbalances, and migraines. Today, I want to focus on one symptom—bloating, specifically “endo belly.” Though I haven’t seen endo belly discussed on medical sites, it is widely talked about within the endo community. This symptom, overlooked by doctors, is a bloated belly that can be painful and embarrassing. And of all my endo symptoms, I hate it the most…
My Endo Belly
I tried to accept it…
During our infertility battle, after learning about endometriosis but not yet understanding endo belly, I finally decided to embrace my body—imperfections and all. I bought a pair of chocolate brown capris and paired them with a robin’s egg blue fitted sweater. My belly showed in this outfit, but I decided that didn’t matter. After all, my belly is a part of me.
And then…
Remember that Trigger Warning! Mention of shower and “p” in this section. Please, stop reading or skip to “In my 40s…” if you are feeling vulnerable today.
After wearing this outfit to a baby shower (back when I still attended them), one of my friends said someone had asked her if I was pregnant. (My co-workers knew we were going through infertility treatments, so I appreciated that she was trying to be sensitive and not ask me directly.) My friend had told her no, but wondered why she would think that?!
“Because of my belly,” I responded immediately.
You see, I knew that I normally hid my little pooch. Others obviously thought I was trying to show off some joyous news. Nope. Just my bloat.
In my 40s…
Fast forward to my forties and my endo belly is in full force. I mean, throw in menopause and eating lots of chocolate because I eat when I’m sad and I’ve been sad since my best friend passed away… Well, I no longer have a “little pooch.” I have quite a good size pooch. So, I have reverted once again to trying to hide this part of my body.
And I usually do a pretty good job of it. (Thank goodness flowy shirts have been in style!) The one place where I struggle to hide my endo belly—aerials.
To participate in aerials, I must wear fairly fitted clothes. After all, it is a work-out where I hang in a sling, go upside down, and try new moves. I can’t be worried about my outfit getting in the way. I have to focus on what I’m doing.
Trying (unsuccessfully) to hide my belly…
During regular classes, I don’t really mind if my outfit shows my endo belly. But when my last performance came around… Well, let’s just say that I did NOT want to wear a leotard like so many of the other students! I spent hours trying to find an outfit that I felt comfortable in but would also work when I was in the sling. And I did it. Tight leggings and a looser fitting shirt that I tied on the side so it wouldn’t move around when I was upside down. I actually felt pretty.
But the thing about the slings… Well, once you get in them, they aren’t forgiving. Normally, I don’t really notice this because I can’t see myself when I’m in the air! But at the performance, a professional took photos of us. And this photo by Second Star Creative (which is actually one of my favorites) gives a wonderful shot of my endo belly.
Now, you might be wondering… If I hate my endo belly so much, then why do I love this shot? Well, because when I saw this photo, I thought, “Wow!” I mean, look what a 42-year-old woman who suffers from endometriosis, is going through menopause, and is battling grief can do! Not to sound un-humble, but I think the fact that I performed a solo in the aerial showcase is pretty darn amazing!
So, yes, I really do love this photo where I am only concerned about my aerial moves and not about sucking in my bloated endo belly! (If you’d like to read more about what aerials has taught me about the childless journey, plus watch a video of my solo performance, click here.)
Though, on a day-to-day basis, I still really hate my endo belly…
It’s about more than looks…
And not just because of the way it looks, either.
Sensitive Info…
Endo belly can be extremely painful. And not just during periods. I mean, I’m going through menopause and have only had one period in the past two years. But my endo belly… Well, it hasn’t gone away.
There are times that my belly becomes so bloated, I feel like I will literally burst if it gets any bigger. It hurts. I can’t fit into my clothes, so I resort to wearing leggings, jogging pants, elastic… At least in the winter. In the warmer months, I feel a bit sexier because I can wear loose-fitting dresses with cute shoes. But I digress…
How do I manage my endo belly?
So, how do I manage my endo belly? Well, cutting carbs, hot cinnamon tea, essential oils, and walking help me. I wrote a blog entitled, “Coping with Endometriosis, Menopause, & Grief,” which explains all this in more detail. Just click here to read…
But remember…
The All-Important Disclaimer…
I’m just a gal who suffers from endo, is going through menopause, and has been struggling through the grief of losing my best friend. I don’t hold a medical or counseling degree nor am I a specialist. I am simply speaking my truth, with the goal of educating and advocating.
Want to learn more about endo belly & other endo symptoms?
To learn more about endometriosis and its symptoms, including endo belly, check out the following:
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2 comments
Thank you so much for this! I was going crazy, I would explain the same symptoms to my DR and she just keeps telling me it’s weight gain. I become so miserable durning this time and I can’t fully explain what is happening, so I’ve just kept it to myself. Thank you!
Heidi, I’m so sorry that your doctor dismissed your symptoms. Medical professionals do not seem to understand endo belly. I’m grateful this information reached you. I wrote a blog entitled “Managing Menopause, Endometriosis, & Anxiety,” in which I discuss specific strategies and products which help me manage my endo belly. I think you would find the information useful. I’m always here to lend a listening ear. Never hesitate to reach out. Hugs, fellow warrior…