From Infertility to a Childless Life…
When we were married in 2000, I did not understand what our vows would really look like. “For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health….” How was I to know that the worse, the bad, the sickness would involve infertility? Our 20+ year marriage has included a lot of ups and downs, twists and turns, highs and lows, joys and sorrows. And our path did not lead where I expected. But as I breathe in this moment, I know that I am exactly where I am meant to be. Here is a glimpse into how I got here…
2000 Got married; Bought a house; Adopted our first puppy, Valentine
May 2001 My Daddy passed away
Nov 2001 Adopted our second puppy, Prancer
June 2003 Our first niece was born
Nov 2003 Started trying to have our first baby
Dec 2003 Received my Master’s Degree
June 2004 Told our family that we were TTC
Jan 2005 Our second niece was born
2005 Started tracking ovulation with a fertility monitor
Jan 2006 Our first nephew was born
2006 Met with our first fertility specialist
May 2006 My endometriosis surgery; Our third niece was born
May – Oct 2006 Medical Menopause; Started building our dream family home
April 2007 First IUI – found out it failed the day before my 30th birthday
May 2007 Second IUI – failed
June 2007 Third IUI – failed; Diagnosed with severe infertility
End of 2007 Began adoption research
Summer 2008 Moved to OKC
Nov 2008 Prancer passed away
Spring 2009 Trip to MO to meet a second fertility specialist about mini-IVF, but we weren’t viable candidates
Summer 2009 Began “Special Days” with our nieces
2010 More TTC; More adoption research
2011 Met 3rd & 4th fertility specialists; Recommended clinical trial; 4 more failed IUIs;
2011 And… My two best girlfriends had their littles
2012 More adoption research; Still hoping…
March 2013 Valentine passed away
Summer 2013 My hubby earned his Bachelor’s; We moved to SC and adopted our third puppy, Maddie
Dec 2013 My hubby told me he didn’t want to keep trying…
2014 Year one of accepting my childless life
Oct 2014 The cooking class that changed my life…
Jan – June 2015 Hosted our Brazilian foreign exchange student, Bruna
Nov 2015 Donated 12 inches of my hair to Wigs for Kids in honor of our “starting to try” anniversary
Dec 2015 Bruna visited for Christmas
Feb 2016 Bought a fixer-upper to create a home just for us…
Oct 2016 Bruna visited for Fall Break
Apr 2017 We visited Brazil for my 40th birthday
July 2017 Bruna visited and we took a road trip to Okla; After 17 years, I resigned from teaching
Aug 2017 Not So Mommy… blog up & running!
Sept 2017 Participated in the first ever World Childless Week; Posted first ever “Good Things Story”
Oct 2017 Not dreading the November Anniversary of us “starting to try” anymore.
Nov 2017 Donated my wedding dress to Kennedy’s Angel Gowns
Dec 2017 Childless Holidays Series: Joy; Featured on “Our Stories” on Life Without Baby; I had a wobble
Jan 2018 Featured Blogger in The Childless Not By Choice Magazine
Feb 2018 Featured on Childless Island Disks; 100th blog posted on Not So Mommy…
Apr 2018 I turned 41-years-old; Featured on The In-Fertility Advocate; My #FliptheScript Story published; Featured on RESOLVE Childless After Infertility; Webinar about Hosting an Exchange Student
May 2018 My hubby graduated with his MBA! AND Our first trip to England!
June 2018 Nominated for The Sunshine Blogger Award
July 2018 Featured on Life Without Baby for second time; Created the Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon; Featured on Walk in Our Shoes; Featured on ThinkBaby’s Inspirational Infertility Stories (trigger warning: mommy blog); Bruna visited!
Aug 2018 Happy One Year Blogiversary, Not So Mommy…
Sept 2018 My Grandad and my best friend passed away. Excuse me while I cry…
Oct 2018 Featured in ArtPrize exhibit; Not So Helpful Series; Celebrated Childfree Halloween
Nov 2018 Donated 12 inches of my hair to Wigs for Kids in honor of our “starting to try” anniversary and in memory of my best friend who bravely battled breast cancer
Dec 2018 Childless Holidays Series: HOPE
Apr 2019 CNBC Ribbon: A Symbol of…; I turned 42-years-old; Co-presented More to Life Webinar on Grief
May 2019 Redefining May as a Childless Woman; Donated my dolls…; And then, there was a wobble…
Aug 2019 The Not So Mommy… Shop opened!; Happy Two Year Blogiversary, Not So Mommy…; Pregnantish Verified Network Profile published; My CNBC Story featured on SK Reid
Sept – Nov 2019 Working on our whole house remodel! And writing blogs for Not So Mommy… 🙂
Dec 2019 Finishing our remodel! (Finally!); Childless Holidays Series 2019: Finding Peace in Childlessness…; Our Brasilian Family visited for Christmas!!!
January 2020 I am a PLICA Ambassador!
March 2020 Covid19 reached South Carolina; I began social distancing as a childless woman; I was a guest on the webinar, “Faith & Childlessness,” hosted by Katy of Chasing Creation
April 2020 I turned 43 during a global pandemic; My CNBC Story featured on The Infertility Chronicles
May 2020 I was the Featured Ambassador on PLICA
June 2020 My intro blog for the series, “Awareness Ribbons for the Childless Community” was shared at PLICA
Sept 2020 My 2nd Awareness Ribbon post, “Pregnancy & Infant Loss” was shared at PLICA
Dec 2020 I was a featured guest on “As Told By Childless Women,” with Jobi Tyson; I was a featured voice on the PLICA blog, “Coping at Christmastime;” My 3rd Awareness Ribbon post, “Infertility” was shared at PLICA
Feb 2021 Featured in “Top Infertility Bloggers Share Their Best Advice for Coping with Infertility” (Possible Triggers)
Mar 2021 Named “Most Compassionate Childless-Not-By-Choice Mental Wellness & Support Platform 2021” for the 2021 Health, Beauty & Wellness Awards hosted by LUXlife
Apr 2021 My 4th Awareness Ribbon post, “The Olive Green Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon,” was shared at PLICA; I turned 44!; Partnered with Tutum Global on #OwningOurVoice during National Infertility Awareness Week®
May 2021 Our oldest niece graduated high school & my nephew-by-friendship got married
June 2021 My Nana passed away and so began another layer of grief…
Aug 2021 Not So Mommy… was listed in the “Top 100 Fertility Blogs and Websites To Follow in 2021” and was named the #1 Dog Mom Blog on Feedspot!
Sept 2021 The 3 year anniversary of my best friend passing away & grief showed up…; My 5th Awareness Ribbon post, “The PCOS Awareness Ribbon,” was shared at PLICA
Oct 2021 I was a guest on Episode 37 of The Forward Healing Project Podcast
April 2022 My Childless By Infertility Story was shared during RESOLVE’s National Infertility Awareness Week®
Aug 2022 Featured Guest on Barren Not Broken Podcast; Featured Guest on Shunem Care “It’s okay to be sad. Just don’t stay there.”
Inspire others by sharing your journey on Our Stories…
Read more about Our Journey on the Blog…
You might also like the Photo Gallery…
Please, help me to continue being a voice for the infertility & childless not by choice communities by making a donation to Not So Mommy…
Click to learn more…
Photo Credit: Rawpixel.com on StockSnap.io
2 comments
you’re so inspiring to me!
just stumbled across your blog; we’re currently in our fourth year ttc, miserable and our marriage is taking a toll!
4 losses in 2018 has left us emotionally empty! really good to read how youve turned your experiences into a strong, positive relationship and lifestyle.
i look forward to more posts!
xx
Danielle, thank you for your kind words about my blog. I am so sorry for your losses and pray that you & your hubby find peace and acceptance… Sending you hugs!