You are worthy of compliments

by Brandi Lytle
Photo of a light grey bucket filled with pink roses on You are worthy of compliments on Not So Mommy... Childless/Infertility Blog

I started taking aerial classes with Bruna.  I never would have tried it if not for her, but I fell in love with aerials because Bruna and I really connected there.  We talked, gave each other compliments, and enjoyed spending time together.  (You can read that story here.)  After Bruna returned to Brazil, I continued taking classes.  I didn’t want to lose the skills I had learned, plus I felt close to her when I was in the silks.  Three years since my first class, I have moved from the aerial yoga and fitness that Bruna and I took together to aerial dance, a more advanced class.

At a recent dance class, we were learning a bit of choreography.  Let me tell you, it is tough!  This 40-year-old woman’s heart gets to beating pretty hard.  I huff and puff, have to take breaks to lean against the wall and drink some water, and consistently wish my abs were in better shape.  But I keep trying, keep pushing…

At the end of class, I videotaped myself doing the short routine I learned.  I was a bit irritated with myself because I forgot one of the transitions and had to ask the teacher to remind me of the next move.  Plus, my left leg got a major cramp, so my face looks like I’m in pain (because I was a little).  Worst of all, you can see my pudgy, bloated, endometriosis belly.  It’s my least favorite part of my body…

As these negative thoughts were flying through my mind, another student in the class looked at me and said, “You are one strong lady.”  I shook my head and stated, “I don’t know about that.”  She countered, “You are.”  Instead of arguing, telling her about my weak abs and muscle cramps, I replied, “I should learn to take a compliment and just say thank you.  So, thank you.”  We laughed and talked a bit more before saying, “See you next week.”

As I left class, I started thinking…  Why do we have such a hard time accepting compliments?  Why do we focus on our flaws so easily?  We need to focus on our strengths instead…

I was being so hard on myself.  But this is the first time I had ever done that choreography routine.  (If you really want to see it, click here…)  While the routine wasn’t perfect, I got myself into all of the moves and I am pushing myself, forcing myself to not allow self-doubt to tell me that I can’t do something.  Once out of the silks, I need to continue to push aside the self-doubt…

We childless not by choice have such a hard time with this…  With believing that we are worthy.  We tend to focus on the fact that our body is broken, that we can’t have a little.  Too often, we focus on the flaws of life.  We allow negative thoughts to fly around in our heads, and although we may not share them openly, we shake our heads when someone gives us a compliment and say, “I’m not sure about that.”

But you know what?  That needs to stop now!  We ARE worthy of compliments!  Even though we might have a broken uterus, we are not broken!  We are capable of doing amazing things.  I know this because I know childless women who are doing amazing things…

Jody Day of Gateway Women, Nicci Fletcher of The Childless Not By Choice Magazine, Stephanie Joy Phillips of World Childless Week, Berenice Smith of Walk in Our Shoes, Lisa Manterfield and Kathleen Guthrie Woods of Life Without Baby, Mali of No Kidding in NZ, and Kelly DaSilva of The Dovecote are just a few women I have met on this journey who are Creating a New plan Bravely & Courageously.

Fabulous one, YOU are doing amazing things, too!  You are strong and beautiful and loving, and you are worthy of compliments!  Won’t you share your story with us so that we can celebrate all the wonderful things our incredible CNBC community is doing?!

And before you shake your head and say, “I’m not sure about that…”

One more time, let me remind you…  You are worthy of compliments.


I am honored to be a sponsor and speaker at the first annual “We Are Worthy! Summit,” hosted by The Childless Not By Choice Magazine.


Featured Photo:  Roman Kraft on

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Judy Odum March 25, 2018 - 9:02 am

You have had lots of joy and also lots of very tough things to deal with since I have known you and you have handled them with grace. Yes you are strong!!

Brandi Lytle March 26, 2018 - 12:20 pm

Thank you, Judy! 🙂

Sherry March 21, 2018 - 6:03 pm

You are one strong lady. Don’t ever forget it! ??


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