Am I worthy? – A Childless Woman’s Perspective

by Brandi Lytle
Photo of a neon question mark on Am I worthy? - A Childless Woman's Perspective on Uniquely Me / Infertility Blog on Not So Mommy...

As Day 5 of World Childless Week began, I found Stephanie Phillip’s (the founder of WCW) post particularly interesting.  In it, she said that today—the day for we childless to tell others that we are worthy—is the day that she had the most difficulty finding people to write.

I must admit that normally, words come fairly easy to me.  But when I saw this topic, I did not know what to say.

Am I worthy?

I did not know how to answer this question…

Perhaps it is because I am pretty new to blogging and didn’t feel like I’m “worthy” to say I’m an expert.

Or perhaps it’s because we are taught from a very young age (especially girls) not to brag and saying, “I’m worthy,” seemed like a big brag.

Or perhaps most importantly it’s because, deep in my heart, I know that I am not worthy.  Before you get angry, let me explain…

On my own, I am not…

I would never have come out of my despair over being childless had it not been for the strength of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and the power of His Holy Spirit working through me.  He saved me and his grace, comfort, and peace brought me out of the darkness, the hopelessness, the misery.

What I also know is, although I do not feel “worthy,” I do matter.  And because I matter, I will continue to speak about infertility and childlessness even though not all will understand my plight.  I will continue to tell my story, however, in the hopes of giving a voice to the childless and inspiring others to live their imperfectly perfect lives.

By His Power

This will only happen by His power, though.  So, I pray over this blog.  I pray that it will reach the right people.  I pray that it will help others who went through, and are still going through, the same struggles that I did.  I was lucky enough to have people in my life to support me during my journey.  I’m learning that not all are so lucky.  I hope to be that person—that person to support and allow the tears and heartache to be freely shown.  I have seen God working through Not So Mommy…™ already, and I pray that He continues to work through me.

And if He chooses to work through me, then yes, I am worthy.  But only because of His strength, love, and power!

 

World Childless Week – Sept 11-17, 2017

Recently, an announcement for World Childless Week came across my newsfeed.  Being an infertile woman, I want to connect with other people who understand what it feels like to be childless.  Because WCW’s goal is to increase awareness and understanding about childless not by choice, I liked their page in order to become a part of the WCW community.  When Stephanie Phillips, the woman who started the WCW movement, asked me to write a guest blog for World Childless Week, I eagerly accepted.  My hope with Not So Mommy…™ is to inspire others to be their authentic selves by telling my infertility story.  WCW has a similar goal and I am so excited to be a part of this group!  Please, check out their Facebook page at World Childless Week and join the childless not by choice conversation!

Photo Credit: Emily Morter on StockSnap.io

 

 

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5 comments

Dee December 14, 2017 - 2:12 am

Hi Brandi, Thank you so much for your blog (I found it through another blog, Lisa Manterfield’s). I had severe (stage 4) endometriosis too, it was devastating. Your blog makes me feel I am not alone, and I think it is wonderful that you mention
the Name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who is the only lasting Comfort! God bless you.

Reply
Brandi Lytle December 14, 2017 - 6:28 pm

Hi, Dee! I’m so sorry that you are a part of the endo tribe, but I am glad that you found the blog. 🙂 And I’m even happier that you are a Sister in Christ! Hugs to you!

Reply
Amanda September 15, 2017 - 4:41 pm

I’ve been struggling lately and often I remind myself that I need to put my troubles in the hands of God. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the illusion of control.

Reply
Brandi Lytle September 16, 2017 - 11:52 am

I’m sorry that you’ve been having a hard time. As a person who loves to be in control, plan, & follow through on things, I understand how difficult it can be to let go & let God. I pray that things go smoother for you this week and that you feel God’s peace in your life.

Reply
Sherry Stout September 15, 2017 - 3:04 pm

You continue to dig deep and uncover the whole truth hidden deep inside. May it give you peace, always with the Lord in your heart. With Him all things ate possible.

Reply

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