Through the Ups and Downs: More to Life Webinar

Recently, I had the privilege of co-presenting a More to Life Webinar with Nicci Fletcher entitled, “Through the Ups and Downs.” This was a tough webinar for me to give. If I’m really honest, it caused me much anxiety…

So, why did I do it, you might be wondering.

Well, when I started Not So Mommy…, I wanted to help others not feel so alone on this journey. I wanted to show that there is life after… It is possible to climb from the pit of despair. You can redefine, find joy. You can live a beautifully, imperfectly perfect life. While I truly believe Not So Mommy… shows this, I didn’t start writing my blog until after I had made it through.

Now that I am struggling through another grief battle, I believe it is very important for me to show the process. I did not get to the acceptance of childlessness overnight. (In fact, it took years.) And I know that I will not move through the grief of losing my best friend in only days, weeks, or even months…

So, I’m being vulnerable, showing my sadness, baring my wounds for the world to see… And I’m doing this in the hopes that it will help someone find their way through the battle…

Through the Ups and Downs: A More to Life Webinar

Below is the one-hour video of Nicci and my More to Life Webinar, “Through the Ups and Downs.” Underneath the video, I’ll give an outline of what I talked about, plus links to Not So Mommy… blogs that I believe will be helpful in giving more information and insight. At the end of this blog, you’ll find a link to Nicci’s website so that you can get more information about what she discussed. Plus, I’ll post the link to More to Life’s 2019 Webinar Series.

There truly is a vibrant childless not by choice community ready to support, encourage, and love you on this journey, fabulous one…

Through the Ups and Downs – Video

Through the Ups and Downs – Brandi’s Discussion Topics with Resources

My CNBC Story – 3:28

If you’d like more information about my infertility and childless not by choice story, please click the links below…

The Beginning of My Current Grief Journey – 6:45

As I watched this portion of the webinar, I realized I made a mistake. While I only post a blog once a week on Not So Mommy… (every Monday), I actually post on social media once a day. My goal is to make sure that you have a bit of positivity and encouragement in your newsfeed each and every day. If you’re not already, I’d be grateful for your follow. Just click below to find me on your favorite social media…

And if you’d like to see the work that I’ve been helping my hubby with, just click here…

My Current Grief and My Childless Grief: Why I need to talk… – 11:42

For more information about why I believe it is so important to share your story (even though it is hard), please click the links below…

Yes, I believe words have power. They can hurt or they can heal…

Kind Words Heal the Broken Hearted…

So, find your tribe of people who will allow you to speak your truth, supporting and encouraging you on your walk. If you need help with that, check out the Resources page at Not So Mommy… Just click here. And please, contact me if you ever need someone to listen…

Working through Grief by Redefining… – 16:52

For more information about how I am working through my current grief by redefining, please click the links below…

For more information about how I have embraced infertility and accepted my childless not by choice life by redefining momhood, please click the links below…

My husband and I began trying to have a baby on November 10, 2003. This day used to bring me much pain, until I started redefining… For more information, please click the links below…

Is there a purpose for this pain? – 24:53

When trying to navigate grief, pain, and sadness, others often try to help with statements such as “Everything happens for a reason” and “God knows best.” For many, these comments are simply not so helpful. To find out why, please click on the links below…

As a Christian, I do believe that God is in control. And I do believe that He has only good plans for us. So, why does He allow pain? Well, please click the link below to read more about my perspective on this…

Teaching, Blogging, and Listening to God: Following His Plan

Below are more blogs I’ve written exploring why God allows the pain of childlessness, plus some of my thoughts about changing perspective and redefining…

Using the “Anchoring Positive Emotions” Technique – 41:13

Being able to “anchor positive emotions,” (as Nicci says) so that we can “change perspective” (as I like to say) is so important on this journey. I’ve written two blogs in particular, which I feel are quite powerful and just might help you find your “inner goddess.” Please, click the links below to read them (and to view my solo aerial performance that I mentioned during the webinar…)

My One Big Take-Away… – 43:58

Feel the feels, share your story, and find the support you need… For more information, please click the links below…

Question from Heather, the MTL Host: Do you think it’s important to let go of trying to find a purpose [for grief] in order to be released from the pain? – 49:06

For some of my thoughts about letting go, please click the links below…

Viewer Question: How do you avoid bitterness when grieving? – 56:51

Changing perspective, redefining, and focusing on “good things” saved me from the pit of despair, from a life of unhappiness and bitterness. For more information about this, please click on the links below…

Since beginning Not So Mommy… in August 2017, I have written 61 Good Things Blogs. To access those posts from the archives, just click here… And for some of my favorite good things from 2017, please click here…

To find inspiration from others who have shared how they found joy after struggle, read Good Things Stories here…

For some questions to help you begin to change your perspective and focus on your good thing, click here…

Through the Ups and Downs – Nicci’s Discussion Topics and Resources

While my recent struggles involve grief, Nicci’s wobbles have been caused by a crisis of confidence and burn-out. During the webinar, she discussed this, as well as the strategies and techniques she is using to find her flamboyant inner flamingo. For more information and links to Nicci’s resources, please check out her blog, Canbace Diaries, by clicking here…

More to Life Resources

More to Life has an incredible website full of wonderful resources. If you’d like to watch past webinars and/or register for future ones, please click here…

And finally… THANK YOU!

Last, but most definitely not least, I want to extend a huge THANK YOU to Heather and More to Life for inviting Nicci and me to share our hearts. And THANK YOU to everyone who has watched the video and read this blog. Your support brings such validation and affirmation… You really are fabulous!

If anything I wrote resonates with you, I’d love to hear about it in the comments…

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Featured Photo: Ryan McGuire on StockSnap.io

2 comments

Nicci Fletcher (@TheCanbaceTribe) April 15, 2019 - 3:06 am

A lovely blog (again) Brandi. What I think is great is that although we have both published a reflective blog about the More To Life webinar they are both very different. This really goes to show that whilst we might have similar experiences as we navigate infertility and/or being CNBC we are all different. It was a pleasure working with you again and I look forward to the next time. Until then I remain in awe about your bravery for talking so openly about your current grief. Be kind to yourself my friend xx

Brandi Lytle April 15, 2019 - 10:10 am

Thank you for your lovely words, Nicci. And as always, thank you for your support, encouragement, friendship, and love.

As I read your blog, I, too, noticed how differently we both approached the same topic. It poignantly shows how different people can have quite different perspectives about the same thing. It’s one reason I’m so grateful to have met you and be able to refer my Not So Mommy… readers to Canbace Diaries. There are so many paths to acceptance… I’m glad our community is growing with various voices. It is sure to help many find their way!

Hugs…