SENSITIVE POST WITH POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Discussion about childless, childfree, parenthood, and more…
The All-Important Disclaimer…
In exchange for a blog post review, I received a free copy of the book, “The Parenthood Pendulum.” If you purchase a copy, I will not earn any monies, as I do not have an affiliate link with Soulace Seeker.
My Thoughts on “The Parenthood Pendulum”
Connecting with Ashton…
In January 2021, Ashton Saldana, author of “The Parenthood Pendulum: Unadulterated Truths to Consider about the Path to Parenthood,” reached out asking if I’d like to collaborate in an effort to “raise awareness about the childless community.” I took a look at her book’s synopsis…
It states the book contains “relatable content to the childless population…” It promises quotes from “numerous women and men . . . [who] fearlessly shared it all…” And it ends with the assertion, “…to help reform the narrative of what it is to be childfree and what parenting really entails.”
From the description, I knew the book would probably contain some triggers for the childless not by choice. But I thought “The Parenthood Pendulum” sounded intriguing, so I agreed to read it and write a review.
Reading the book…
At the end of February, I sat down and read this short book in one sitting. Just 8 chapters and only 61 pages from “Introduction” to “About the Author,” it was a quick read. I’d like to go back and discuss the book’s synopsis in a bit more detail…
Relatable content to the childless population?
Childless or Childfree?
As I stated previously, “The Parenthood Pendulum” synopsis states the book contains “relatable content to the childless population…” Though a true statement, its content is more relatable to the childless by choice demographic—a group the childless not by choice often refer to as childfree by choice.
Possible Triggers…
That being said, “The Parenthood Pendulum” contains numerous possible triggers for those who are childless not by choice. Reading it didn’t cause me to shed any tears nor to wobble. But I am in year eight of accepting my childless not by choice life, plus was feeling strong emotionally the day I read it. For those in the midst of grief, I do not recommend reading this book.
Dealing with Circumstances…
Chapter 6, “Dealing with Circumstances,” specifically discusses infertility, miscarriage, IVF, and adoption. I was pleased that Ashton mentions endometriosis, PCOS, and miscarriage, as these issues need more awareness. Ultimately, however, as a childless not by choice woman, I found this chapter lacking. Perhaps that is because the “not by choice” isn’t really discussed within “The Parenthood Pendulum.” The interviewees were either able to finally conceive or adopt or they seemed to simply accept that having children just wasn’t part of their life path. The pain of being childless not by choice wasn’t really explored…
Numerous Quotes?
As for quotes from “numerous women and men . . . [who] fearlessly shared it all…” Ashton Saldana, the author, interviewed ten people (both men and women), including their thoughts within the pages of “The Parenthood Pendulum.” Some were parents. Some were non-parents. Some struggled with infertility. Others did not. In my opinion, the “childfree by choice” perspective was shared by the non-parents. This makes sense, as I learned in Chapter 1 that Ashton is childless by choice.
Reform the Narrative?
Finally, let’s discuss the assertion that “The Parenthood Pendulum” will “help reform the narrative of what it is to be childfree and what parenting really entails.” The parents interviewed for this book were quite realistic in their descriptions about parenthood. They did not glamorize it. Though one did state, “I don’t think non-parents realize how much work it is.” (I confess. I rolled my eyes and sighed at this comment.)
Some Final Thoughts on “The Parenthood Pendulum”
So, I realize it appears I’m giving a not so glowing review for “The Parenthood Pendulum.” That is because I do not believe this book is really for “the childless population,” but rather the childless/childfree by choice population. In other words, those who choose not to have children and want some validation about this choice… Well, “The Parenthood Pendulum” is for you!
For those who are childless not by choice, however… Well, “The Parenthood Pendulum” does show a different perspective on parenthood. It does boldly state that there is more to a woman’s purpose than being a housewife and mother. And there is power in that perspective. (That is a major reason I categorized this blog under “Good Things.” Because sharing various perspectives is most definitely a good thing…)
Intrigued?
Despite the lack of the “not by choice” perspective, I still find “The Parenthood Pendulum” intriguing. If you do, too (and believe the potential triggers won’t cause a big wobble), you can purchase a copy of “The Parenthood Pendulum” by clicking here. Use Promo Code “NOTSOMOMMY” from now until the end of April 2021 for 20% off.
Thank you, Ashton…
Thank you, Ashton, for reaching out to me. Though we are childless for very different reasons, I truly believe the childless/childfree communities should support one another, as we both understand what it feels like to be misunderstood by much of the world…
If anything I wrote resonates with you, fabulous one, tell us about it in the comments.
If you need a listening ear, please contact me. I don’t ever want anyone to feel alone on this journey.
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2 comments
Good review, thanks. I’m surprised she refers to the childless by choice, as many who have chosen not to have children would resist the label of childLESS! It’s that endless issue of labels, isn’t it?! lol
The “I don’t think non-parents realize how much work it is” comment would have had my eyes rocking and rolling with yours! lol
It doesn’t sound like it brings much new to the debate – well, not for me, anyway. Thanks for such a thorough review.
As always, I appreciate your insight, Mali. Thank you for reading and for commenting, fellow warrior…