Trigger Warning: Hospital Visits, Mother’s Day
I remember visiting my Daddy in the hospital when he was battling colon cancer. On one particular day, my husband and I were in the elevator, and I was just so sad. My Daddy was losing the fight… The elevator doors opened, and a group of smiling, chipper, talkative people were on the other side. “How rude,” I thought! Don’t they know that people are dying? And then, I realized. They weren’t there to visit someone who was sick. They were there to celebrate a new life. One day, one moment. But very different perspectives, very different emotions…
What’s in a date?
So, what’s in a date?
November 10, December 26, August 11. Do these dates hold any significance for you? Do they conjure up deep emotions?
For some, November 10 may be a time of celebration, a birthday or an anniversary. But for me…
November 10, 2003 is the day we started trying to conceive, a day filled with hope and expectancy until the pain of infertility struggles…
For many, December 26 is simply the day after Christmas. For some childless, it may be a time to breathe a sigh of relief that you have made it through another holiday season. But for me…
December 26, 2013 is the day my hubby told me that he didn’t want to try anymore, the day I was forced to look a childless life square in the face…
For others, August 11 may be a moment of sadness, mourning the loss of a loved one. But for me…
August 11, 2017 is the official “first day” for Not So Mommy…, a day filled with excitement, anticipation, and little bit of fear…
Same Day, Different Experiences
A day’s emotions all depend on the perspective of the person living it. Like the elevator, although we are all on the same ride, we are not headed to the same floor. Some of us will stop at sadness, others at joy. We are all living on the exact same date, but we are not experiencing the exact same date…
Now, there are stops along the way that hold no particular meaning for us. March 11, for example. This date holds nothing lovely or terrible for me. It is simply another day.
But for some, March 11, 2018 may be painful. Why? Because it is Mother’s Day in the UK. Those of us in other parts of the world may be thinking, “Crap! Why did you have to tell me this? I was having a perfectly delightful day.”
Look through their lens, their perspective…
Well, remember the smiling, chipper, talkative people that greeted me on the other side of the elevator? When they saw my face, felt my sadness, realized that I was taking a different ride, they quieted. They didn’t say a word, but the look in their eyes told me that they were sorry for my pain, and their respect for my sadness still brings a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye.
So, I want our childless UK friends to know that we are thinking of you today, just as we know you will think of us in May. We send you love and hugs and comfort…
And I want us to always remember that even though it may be “just another day” to you, for some, it could hold great significance and emotion. So, let us be ever mindful to look others in the eyes so that we can see their joy and their sorrow, so that we can support them on their journey…
Fabulous ones, won’t you please leave a comment with a word of encouragement for our UK friends who may be struggling this Mother’s Day?
Photo Credit: Jonas Svidras of StockSnap.io
2 comments
Dear Brandi – thank you so much for your words – I have tears in my eyes, they would be free flowing but I’m at work! Just want to say how much your words and the LWB post has helped me this week. I am so grateful to my cyber friends – no-one else truly gets it. I love your elevator analogy – so spot on, particularly in a hospital. It brings back so many times when I hoped to be walking in different shoes – however, while reading your post I have reminded myself that I may not get to walk in the shoes of a new Mum but from a different perspective of someone not able to put on a pair of ski boots for instance – I am a lucky girl indeed.
Jane, I am so grateful that my words have brought you a bit of comfort. I, too, am super grateful for our “cyber friends!” We are an amazing community of support… And you are right, we are lucky indeed, if only we look at life from a different perspective. Sending you hugs… 🙂