Redefining Home, Redefining Christmas

by Brandi Lytle
Photo of a live wreath on Redefining Home, Redefining Christmas on Not So Mommy..., an infertility & childless blog
POSSIBLE TRIGGERS:  This blog talks about Christmas—past and present—family, Santa, and more…  I think you’ll find it empowering by the end, as we discuss redefining Christmas.  But it has the potential to cause a wobble along the way.  Only read if you are feeling strong enough, fabulous one. 

Before we talk about redefining Christmas, let me just say…

I love the Christmas Season.  Yes, even when struggling through infertility…  Yes, even when I realized we would lead a childless life…  December is one of my favorite months.  I think this is because of my Grammy.

Christmases Past…

As a child…

You see, every year for as long as I can remember, my Grammy had a Christmas party.  And one of the highlights of her party–Santa visited!  My Grammy made sure that every kid got a present.  And I mean every kid.  She not only invited her family (my dad’s side of the family), but she invited my mom’s side, too.  She invited my best friends.  (Yes, Jennifer attended these parties…)  She invited neighborhood kids.  Oh.  And she invited adults, too!  As I entered adulthood, I learned why my Grammy was so adamant that every child received a gift from Santa.  But that is her story to tell.  Let me just say that it is a magnificent “Finding Joy Despite…” story.

As an adult…

Now, you might be wondering why I am sharing this.  I mean, this is a childless blog and I’m regaling you with tales of grandmas and kids and family parties.  Well, to this day, I love not only Christmas, but Santa.  And I love Santa because of my Grammy.

After Dane and I were married, we got to be Mr. & Mrs. Claus at a few Christmas parties.  In fact, of all the holiday blogs I’ve written, my favorite (and a favorite of the Not So Mommy… community) is Mr. & Mrs. Claus: A Childless Couple.  (You can read it here.)

Christmases Present…

Dane has embraced my love for Santa.  Because of this, Mr. Claus visits the Lytle Family every year (often on New Year’s Eve) to take photos with Maddie and give me a kiss under the mistletoe.  😉  So, when I decorate our home for Christmas, Santa figurines remind me of my amazing hubby who has truly helped me redefine the holidays…

Redefining Home . . .

If you are a regular here at Not So Mommy…, you know that we’ve been remodeling our cabin in the woods for several years.  Most of the work is finally done, with only a few projects left to complete.  At the end of last year, there was a HUGE push to get a TON of work done.  During that time, we turned some empty, wasted space under our stairs into a little house for Maddie and a bar area for Dane.

Redefining Christmas . . .

As I decorated for Christmas this year, I put a collection of Santa figurines on the bar.  I also came across a couple of books about Santa that I added to our bar, as well.  These decorations sit alongside some beautiful liquor bottles with red and green labels, as well as crystal drink glasses.  As I put this together, I vacillated…

The Process…

Should I really put Santa decorations on a bar?  I mean, is it appropriate to have a “Santa speaks” book alongside a liquor bottle?  What would people think when I posted photos of our home on social media?  Heck, I even worried that people might think I was making fun…  Like I was saying Santa is a drunk.  So…

I moved the Santas.

I put them back.

I added the books.

Took them away.

And put them back again.

And then, I decided.

The Decision: Redefining Santa…Photo of our remodeled bar area decorated for Christmas on "Redefining Home, Redefining Christmas" on Not So Mommy..., an infertilitiy & childless blog

This is my home.  Santa reminds me of my husband.  We designed this bar area especially for Dane.  I liked the way the Santas and books and liquor bottles all looked.  So, I left it and posted pictures of it and quit worrying about what other people might think.

Because there is nothing inappropriate with my decorations.  We do not have littles around the house.  So, I do not decorate to suit kids or their needs.  I decorate to suit me, Dane, and Maddie.  And the Santa and liquor and bar and books…  There is no “hidden message” here.

Well, the message is that Dane and my holidays are non-traditional and we are redefining them to suit us, to bring us joy…

Do You. Period.

I suppose I’ve rambled on to try and show you to just do you this December.  If decorating the entire house inside and out, putting up four Christmas trees, watching all the Christmas movies, listening to all the Christmas music, and drinking all the egg nog (with a little somethin’ somethin’) is what makes your holidays bright, then go for it!  (I’ve literally just described my December!)

If dressing your fur baby up and visiting Santa makes you smile, do it.  (Well, safely since it is 2020—the year of social distancing.)

If wearing a sexy, red outfit and hanging out under the mistletoe makes you jingle, go for it!

If no decorations, no presents, no music is more your speed, embrace that!

Just figure out what makes you smile and don’t worry about what the rest of the world thinks about your traditions.  Or non-traditions.  Whatever the case may be…

Because we only get so many holidays.  So, let’s make this Christmas a FABULOUS one!

If anything I wrote about redefining Christmas resonates with you, fabulous one, please tell us about it in the comments.  (You can simply use an initial rather than your name, if you wish to remain anonymous.)
MORE IN THE REDEFINING HOME SERIES…

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Featured Photo: Personal Photo taken by me; Edited using Canva

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1 comment

Sherry December 14, 2020 - 7:13 pm

Your Grammy’s Christmas parties were legendary !

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