Redefining: The Plan vs The Process | Childless Blog

The 4^th annual World Childless Week wrapped up yesterday. Per tradition, the final WCW theme was “Moving Forwards.” For many (including myself), moving forward means finding “Plan B.” Discovering this new plan can be complicated… Oh, who am I kidding?! Discovering this new plan IS complicated. And that got me to thinking about making a plan versus going through a process . . .

Redefining Home…

If you are a regular here at Not So Mommy…, you know that my husband and I have been remodeling our home for over four years. At the end of 2019, we pushed to get completely done. Well, we almost made it…

Nine months later, we are again in full blown remodel mode, trying to finish the last few projects. And, if I’m completely honest, having to redo a few things that just don’t quite fit the way we thought they would…

Plan A…

When we bought our log cabin in the woods back in 2016, we knew that the entire house had to be painted—inside and out. In the great room, we put up numerous paint samples and had landed on a greenish-grey color. (It doesn’t sound great, but it really was a nice color.) So, that was the plan… Paint the great room (above the wood walls anyway) this greenish-grey color.

Plan B…

But then, we started re-doing the upstairs, which is open to the great room. And in the process of deciding that the upstairs bedroom, as well as the loft, would be shiplap stained white, we changed our minds about the color of the great room.

So, some would say we had to move from Plan A (paint the great room greenish-grey) to Plan B (paint the great room white like the upstairs).

Plan C…

In the process of re-doing the downstairs, we decided to strip the wood walls and stain them a rich ebony. We also decided to hang shiplap, buy new cream dining chairs, as well as new cream chairs for the living area. White walls weren’t going to work. We liked the white stain upstairs, as it is shabby-chic. But downstairs… We were going for rustic elegance. So, we had to move on to Plan C—paint the shiplap walls true taupewood.

Plan D, Plan E…

In the process of painting the great room true tapuewood, however, we realized that the loft couldn’t remain white. So, are we now on Plan B for the loft? Or Plan D for paint? Oh! And we decided to re-do the floors upstairs, as they were a lighter stain than downstairs. So, we painted them greyhound. But in that process, we decided we didn’t like how true taupewood looked with greyhound. So, Plan C… Or is it Plan E?

The Process . . .

Now, you may be thinking that my husband and I are nuts! Sometimes… Well, perhaps most of the time, we agree! The process of remodeling our log cabin in the woods has been grueling, if I am 100% honest. Dane and I do much of the work ourselves. We’ve lived in the house the entire time we’ve been remodeling. And, as I’ve shown, we’ve had to change our minds, re-do, move on to a different plan, etc., etc., etc.

But then, I thought…

Maybe we aren’t really on Plan E. Maybe we are still on Plan A.

What do I mean?

Well, our original plan was to paint the entire house—inside and out. And that is what we are doing. Through the process of executing our plan, we’ve had to make some adjustments. But we are still executing the plan.

Redefining Life…

And that got me to thinking about my childless life…

Possible Trigger: Discussion about momhood…

My original plan was to be a mom. That is Plan A. Now, I say Plan B is “redefining momhood” as a dog mom and host mom. But is it really Plan B? Or through the process of trying to become a mom, did I just have to make some adjustments?

Honestly, I think Liz of Redefining My Plan A has the right idea! I’m still living my Plan A. I just tweaked and adjusted…

I guess I say all this because I hear fabulous ones say they don’t know what Plan B should be… Well, perhaps the process is even more important than the plan.

Now, I say this as someone who loves to make plans and keep plans! I mean, I write out a schedule for when we are on vacation, with dates, weather forecasts, what we are doing, what we are wearing… I am a planner.

My husband… Well, he is the one who is okay with going through the process. He’s the one who accepts that adjustments are often required. He is the one who encourages me (even pushes me when necessary) to embrace that the original plan must be modified.

Moving Forward: The Plan vs. The Process . . .

So, if you are thinking that you don’t know how to move forward because you don’t really want Plan B, then maybe you can shift your perspective from the plan to the process. And maybe that process will involve redefining your home, making your space fit your what is…

Now, I’m not saying you need to dive into a whole house remodel like my husband and I did! But…

Is there a room that needs to be painted? A piece of furniture that can be repurposed? Work to do in the garden? Bare walls that need special artwork? A space that you can make your own?

Embrace the process, fabulous one. You might be pleasantly surprised at where it leads…

Need some inspiration?

If you need a bit of inspiration, check out these past posts from the “Redefining Home” Series by clicking a title…

If anything I wrote resonates with you, fabulous one, please tell us about it in the comments.

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3 comments

Mali September 23, 2020 - 12:07 am

I think it is all about the process too. I feel as if there’s an expectation on us or even self-imposed that we’ll find our Next Big Thing when we can’t have children. But as I’ve written, I think Life itself is our next big thing – living it, embracing it, doing what feels right.

Happy home decorating!