Life is a matter of perspective. We can choose to be positive or negative, to live in the AND or the BUT. Not quite sure what I mean? Well, let me tell you about our trip to England to try and illustrate these different perspectives on life . . .
Our Trip to England: Perspective 1
Recently, my husband and I took a 12-day vacation to England. My hubby had wanted to take this trip for years, and we had high expectations for this holiday. It was going to be perfect…
Day 1
We woke up to a notification that our flight had been delayed, which meant we would miss our connection. So, we decided to change flights. But that one got delayed, too. So, we had to drive an hour and a half to different airport so that we could take a direct flight to England.
Day 2
I was nauseous because I had gotten altitude sickness almost immediately after the flight took off. I felt awful. We got our rental car and were off to Rye… Until we got a flat tire and had to wait for nine hours on the side of the road for our rental car company to send someone to rescue us. (No, I’m not kidding. We sat on the side of the road for nine hours. I had to pee in the woods. It was terrible.)
Day 3
We drove to Sissinghurst Castle. It was closed. We started towards Chittoe, but GPS decided to take us to the wrong place. So, we drove an hour out of the way, got delayed by two accidents, and got lost a second time…
Day 6
Dane had been trying to get sick for days, and it finally caught up to him. We ate dinner at the hotel and turned in early.
Day 7
Dane was still sick.
Day 8
I dropped my phone in a toilet. It accidentally fell out of my back pocket and landed in the loo. I hadn’t downloaded my photos, so I lost them all because I also hadn’t set-up iCloud properly. I cried.
Day 9
Dorney House was closed, we didn’t have enough coins to pay for parking at Windsor Castle, Dane still felt bad, and our waiter at dinner was rude.
Day 10
We trekked clear over to Tate Museum only to discover that the Van Gogh exhibit won’t be there until 2019, plus Big Ben was all covered up!
Day 11
Dane was still sick, plus it rained.
Day 12
Dane was still sick. We got in a tiff because we were both exhausted.
Wait a minute! This trip wasn’t perfect at all! But don’t worry. I’ve only told you part of the story… I’ve only looked at things from one perspective—the negative one. Let’s try this again, looking at another one of the perspectives on life . . .
Our Trip to England: Perspective 2
Day 1
We got boarded and were on our way to England!!!
Day 2
We arrived at The Standard Inn in Rye a little before 11:00 PM. The amazing ladies at the Pub put together some bread, cheese, and olives for us to eat, and we breathed in the serenity of this amazing Tudor building.
Day 3
We ate a scrumptious English breakfast, checked out Rye, and saw the breathtaking Canterbury Cathedral.
Day 4
English breakfast, cream tea, toured the Abbey where Harry Potter was filmed, “take away” pizza and more…
Day 5
Another amazing day touring the English countryside, we made our way through the Cotswolds and had dinner at a pub…
Day 6
We visited Bourton on the Water, Upper & Lower Slaughterhouse, Stow on the Wold, Broadway, Chipping Camden, and Stratford-Upon-Avon.
Day 7
We did the “Full Story” tour, learning all about Shakespeare and his family. Of course, we had afternoon tea, plus we had Italian for dinner.
Day 8
It was my hubby’s birthday. So, we visited Charlecote, had afternoon tea, went to Warwick and saw Leycester Hospital, traveled to Bournville and saw Selly House, and ended back up in Stratford-Upon-Avon, having fish & chips for dinner and birthday dessert at our hotel.
Day 9
We had a full English breakfast and cream tea, plus got to see the London skyline atop The Sky Garden.
Day 10
We checked out Liberty, the National Gallery, Fortnum & Mason, Westminster Abbey, Parliament, Buckingham Palace, and the Royal Mews. Plus, we had a full English breakfast and pizza at a pub!
Day 11
We got to tour Windsor Castle and see Chelsea in Bloom!
Day 12
It was time to head back to the States. We made it safely home to our Maddie Pooh!
Now, that’s more like it! That’s the perfect trip that we had envisioned! Unfortunately, it’s still not the whole story because I’m still only looking at things from one perspective, albeit a positive one. But this “positive” perspective is what I call the “social media perspective.” The “everything is wonderful and perfect and amazing” perspective. But that’s just not life. So, let’s try this one more time and look at a third of the perspectives on life . . .
Our Trip to England: Perspective 3
Day 1
We woke up to a notification that our flight had been delayed, which meant we would miss our connection. So, we decided to change flights. But that one got delayed, too. So, we ended up driving an hour and a half to different airport so that we could take a direct flight to England.
AND…
We did it! We got boarded and were on our way to England!!!
Day 2
We arrived in England and went to get our rental car. I was nauseous because I had gotten altitude sickness almost immediately after the flight took off. I felt awful. But, I ate a snack and felt better. We were off to Rye! Until we got a flat tire and had to wait for nine hours on the side of the road for our rental car company to send someone to rescue us. (No, I’m not kidding. We sat on the side of the road for nine hours. I had to pee in the woods. It was terrible.)
AND…
We finally arrived at The Standard Inn in Rye a little before 11:00 PM. The amazing ladies at the Pub put together some bread, cheese, and olives for us to eat, and we breathed in the serenity of this amazing Tudor building.
Day 3
We drove to Sissinghurst Castle. It was closed. We started towards Chittoe, but GPS decided to take us to the wrong place. So, we drove an hour out of the way, got delayed by two accidents, and got lost a second time…
AND…
We ate a scrumptious English breakfast, checked out Rye, got our flat tire changed, and saw the breathtaking Canterbury Cathedral. Even though we arrived at our destination at 11:30 PM, the owner of our room for the night was forgiving.
Day 4
All was good. English breakfast, cream tea, toured the Abbey where Harry Potter was filmed, “take away” pizza and more…
Day 5
Another amazing day touring the English countryside, we made our way through the Cotswolds and had dinner at a pub…
Day 6
Dane had been trying to get sick for days, and it finally caught up to him. We ate dinner at the hotel and turned in early.
AND…
Before that, however, we visited Bourton on the Water, Upper & Lower Slaughterhouse, Stow on the Wold, Broadway, Chipping Camden, and Stratford-Upon-Avon.
Day 7
Dane was still sick.
AND…
He powered through, determined not to let anything ruin our trip. So, we did the “Full Story” tour, learning all about Shakespeare and his family. Of course, we had afternoon tea. Dane took a two-hour nap, and we got Italian for dinner.
Day 8
I dropped my phone in a toilet. It accidentally fell out of my back pocket and landed in the loo. I hadn’t downloaded my photos, so I lost them all because I also hadn’t set-up iCloud properly. I cried.
AND…
It was my hubby’s birthday. So, we visited Charlecote, had afternoon tea, went to Warwick and saw Leycester Hospital, traveled to Bournville and saw Selly House, and ended back up in Stratford-Upon-Avon, having fish & chips for dinner and birthday dessert at our hotel. (Plus, my awesome hubby let me use his phone to take photos!)
Day 9
Dorney House was closed, we didn’t have enough coins to pay for parking at Windsor Castle, Dane still felt bad, and our waiter at dinner was rude.
AND…
We had a full English breakfast and cream tea, plus got to see the London skyline atop The Sky Garden.
Day 10
We trekked clear over to Tate Museum only to discover that the Van Gogh exhibit won’t be there until 2019, plus Big Ben was all covered up!
AND…
We checked out Liberty, the National Gallery, Fortnum & Mason, Westminster Abbey, Parliament, Buckingham Palace, and the Royal Mews. Plus, we had a full English breakfast and pizza at a pub!
Day 11
Dane was still sick, plus it rained.
AND…
We got to tour Windsor Castle and see Chelsea in Bloom!
Day 12
Dane was still sick. We got in a tiff because we were both exhausted.
AND…
It was time to head back to the States. I bought some travel sickness meds, so I didn’t get nauseous this time, our flight wasn’t delayed, and we made it safely home to our Maddie Pooh…
Finally! Now, that… That’s the real story! This trip was not perfect! Between the flat tire and the illnesses and the dropped phone, it was one of the most challenging vacations we have ever been on.
AND…
It is one of the most incredible trips we have ever taken!
Perspectives on Life . . .
And isn’t that life?! Challenging AND incredible all at once, but definitely not perfect…
But that’s what gets us in trouble, isn’t it? We want it to be perfect. We have such high expectations. And when it doesn’t turn out exactly like we had planned, like we had hoped… Well, we can get stuck in the negative.
Then, when we decide we’ve had enough of the negative, we risk getting trapped in the “everything is wonderful, life is grand, let’s only talk about the positive” mentality. But that is a dangerous place to be, as well. Because life isn’t perfect!
Living in the AND vs the BUT…
So, we must live in the AND… That means, we must acknowledge the bad, but focus on the positive. That’s why the AND perspective looks like this…
Dane was still sick, plus it rained.
AND…
We got to tour Windsor Castle and see Chelsea in Bloom!
If we reverse this, we’re not living in the AND; we’re living in the BUT…
We got to tour Windsor Castle and see Chelsea in Bloom.
BUT…
Dane was sick, plus it rained.
Perspective makes all the difference…
See the difference?! Various perspectives on life . . . They are so super important. Choosing a different perspective makes all the difference.
Don’t believe me? Take a look at the same scenario through the four different perspectives on life . . .
- Negative Perspective: I am an infertile, childless woman who can’t have biological kids, so I will never be a traditional mom.
- Positive “Social Media” Perspective: I’m a dog mom with the most adorable puppy ever!
- The BUT Perspective: I’m a dog mom with an adorable puppy BUT I am an infertile, childless woman who can’t have biological kids, so I will never be a traditional mom.
- The AND Perspective: I’m an infertile, childless woman who can’t have biological kids, so I will never be a traditional mom AND I’m a dog mom with an adorable puppy, so I’m redefining momhood for myself.
All four of the perspectives above are absolutely true about my life, so I have to choose which of the perspectives on life I’m going to focus on. Better yet, I get to choose which perspective is going to define my life, which perspective I’m going to share with the world.
I choose the AND…
Which one of the perspectives on life do you choose, fabulous one?
Not quite ready to change perspectives? Click here to read “But what if I don’t want Plan B?”
Want to learn more about my journey? Click here…
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Featured Photo Credit: It’s mine. 🙂 I took this photo during our trip to England.
5 comments
Thank you, Brandi! Since discovering Not So Mommy, I have been able to give and get new perspective on so many aspects of my life. You are a blessing!!
Thank you so much, Nicole! I am so humbled that my blogs are helping you to see things in a different way. And I am even more grateful that you are able to “give a new perspective.” Hugs!
Thank you for writing this, Brandi. You have brilliantly illustrated something whichever is extraordinarily valuable and helpful! Thank you so much! ❤️
This is brilliantly awesome. Thank you.
Love the “and” and love YOU! Your trip perspectve was funny, sad, interesting and eventful. That is life to a “t”. ?