Happy One Year Blogiversary! - Infertility / Childless Blog

This Saturday, 11 August 2018, Not So Mommy… celebrates its one year blogiversary! It is hard for me to believe that I have been blogging for an entire year. But what is even more amazing is all that has happened during this time…

Setting Goals for Not So Mommy…

Being a veteran teacher with Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees, I believe in education. So, before I ever posted my first blog, I did some research, reading several hundred pages in a couple of books. The experts said you needed to set goals for your blog in order to monitor your progress. Good student that I am, I created goals for the number of blogs I would write per week, plus how many social media followers and email subscribers I would like to attract during my first year at Not So Mommy…

Goal #1: Creating Content…

Creating content has not been a problem. In fact, this is the 150th blog I’ve posted! At first, I published 5 days a week. A few months after starting, I slowed to three a week. And now, I publish twice a week–Good Things on Monday and a second blog (currently the “Not So Helpful: Things You Shouldn’t Say to the Childless” Series) on Wednesdays. I enjoy this schedule, and it seems that you, my readers, do as well.

Goal #2: Attract a Community…

As for the numerical goals I set regarding social media followers and email subscribers… Well, I did not meet those goals. (So, if you’re not already following me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and YouTube, I’d appreciate the like. And if you haven’t signed up for weekly round-up emails, you can do that here!)

Goal #3: The True Purpose of Not So Mommy…

In all seriousness, I’ve realized that whether or not I’ve met these arbitrary goals I set at the beginning means little. They were supposed to tell me if I’d reached my true goal of helping someone going through the same struggle to not feel so alone. And although I am quite proud of the community that we are growing at Not So Mommy…, how can numerical social media followings really tell me if I’ve reached that altruistic goal? Honestly, it can’t.

Unexpected Accomplishments…

So, as Not So Mommy…’s one year blogiversary approached, I spent some time contemplating the unexpectedness of this past year’s journey… When I published my very first blog (which you can read here, if you like), I never imagined that…

I would participate in the first ever World Childless Week.
I would participate in the first ever We Are Worthy Summit.
I would share my written story on six different sites in addition to Not So Mommy…
I would be interviewed about my story by four different people.
I would be featured on Childless Island Disks.
I would be published (twice) in The Childless Not By Choice Magazine.
I would start an Awareness Ribbon Campaign for the CNBC Community.
One of my blogs would be the inspiration for the new affirmation for the childless, CANBACE.

Even more important than all of that, I never imagined that I would connect with Nicci Fletcher, who lives in France, and have regular zoom chats with her. A new friend who completely understands this childless journey and provides me with such love and support…

I never imagined that I would connect with so many childless men and women–not just through a social media following or email subscription, but through real, honest, raw emotions. The comments, private messages, and emails I have received this past year… Well, I am beyond humbled that so many of you connect with my writing and trust me enough to share your story, your vulnerability, your emotions with me…

These are the things that show me I have reached my true goal. Although I often wonder if I am helping you to not feel so alone OR if you are helping me… In all honesty, I am quite certain it is both.

Looking Towards Year Two…

As I look towards year two at Not So Mommy…, I realize that I can set more data-driven goals to try and help maintain focus, to help me continue to strive to reach as many people as possible… But the real magic happens when we accomplish things we never even thought about…

Setting and Evaluating Goals…

For Not So Mommy…

We set goals such as “I want to accept my childlessness by the end of this year” or “I want to go an entire day, week, or month without having a wobble.” Sometimes we reach these goals. But what if we don’t? We risk getting discouraged, believing we aren’t moving forward when we don’t meet our arbitrary data-driven, numeric goals.

I mean, I could feel that Not So Mommy… has not been “successful” because I didn’t get enough social media followers. I could be discouraged that my email list is too small. Instead, I’ve chosen to focus on the unexpected accomplishments that I never even considered when I started this blog. And those accomplishments make me realize that this past year has been even more successful than I had hoped!

For Yourself…

So, if you aren’t reaching acceptance as quickly as you’d like or you’re having more wobbles than you want, don’t be too hard on yourself. Figure out what you have accomplished that you’ve never considered before.

What steps have you made towards acceptance? Have you joined a private Facebook group? How about told some close friends about your childless not by choice life? Or bravely shared your story publicly? (You can do that here, if you want.)

As for the wobbles… Do they last for shorter periods of time than they used to? Are you able to better recognize your triggers? Have you shared with friends or family how emotionally difficult some situations are for you?

Even though you may not have reached your original goal does not mean you aren’t making progress. Perhaps you just need to look at your goal from a different perspective… You know I’m all about that here at Not So Mommy…! We’ll find the bright sides together and continue to educate and raise awareness as we Create A New, Beautiful And Courageous Existence…

Year Two Goals for Not So Mommy…

I think those are some good altruistic, non-numeric goals for year two…

Goal #1: Discover even more bright sides of being childless.
Goal #2: Raise more awareness about being childless by promoting our tribe’s new olive green ribbon.
Goal #3: Help make the new affirmation for the childless, CANBACE, more recognized within and outside our tribe.

I do hope you’ll continue on this journey with me, fabulous ones. Your support truly means more than I can put into words…