On Being Childless: To the Super Non-Moms . . .

by Brandi Lytle
Black and white photo of the shadow of a woman wearing a cape on "On Being Childless: To the Super Non-Moms..." on Not So Mommy..., a childless blog

Ultimately, I pray this post leaves you empowered and uplifted.  But the road to get there is likely to be bumpy, with some pain and tears along the way…

While researching products for the Not So Mommy… Shop, I came across one which claimed to be helpful to those suffering from endometriosis.  As I explored their website, I was disappointed and taken aback to read that it was perfect for “supermoms.”

Feeling it my duty to speak-up for our CNBC tribe, I emailed the company.  In my letter, I informed them that 30-50% of women with endometriosis suffer from infertility, too.  I went on to say that some of these women end their infertility journeys childless.  So, I stated it would be nice to speak to all—the “supermoms” AND the super non-moms, including those who’ve struggled through infertility because of endometriosis, some of whom are childless not by choice.

I got a response, saying they’d pass my suggestion on to the creator of the product and owner of the company.

I never heard anything else from them or the owner, however.

Since today is the most dreaded, most isolating, most triggering day of the year for many childless women, I decided that I’d write to the super non-moms.  So, here is what I want you, my fellow CNBC, to know…

To the Super Non-Moms (and Super Non-Dads) . . .

To the Awesome & Amazing Aunts, the Unsung Uncles who love unconditionally, the Giving Godparents, Stupendous Stepparents, & Heartfelt Host Parents…

The Dedicated Dog Moms, Dapper Dog Dads, Caring Cat Moms, Conscientious Cat Dads, Huggy Horse Mamas, & Hunky Horse Papas…

Fantastic Fur Mamas, Funny Fur Daddys, & Proud Pet Parents…

To the Sassy & Gutsy CNBC Singles…

The Cuddly & Courageous CNBC Couples…

To those who never got their rainbow…

Who never felt a little kick…

To those who accept, embrace, redefine…

Who move forward in spite of grief, who find joy despite…

To those who wobble, yet continue on…

To all who are Not So Mommy… or Not So Daddy…

You are super, too.

Actually, you are more than super.

You.  Are.  Fabulous!

And I hope you have a happy day.

So many hugs…

Love, Me


If anything I wrote resonates with you, please tell us about it in the comments.

For the Not So Mommy… Comments Policy, please click here…

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Featured Photo:  Created by me, using Canva

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Sandy Beaty May 8, 2022 - 5:25 pm

Dear Brandi,
Thank you for being consistent with your voice for childless not by choice. Some of your tips I’ve used today, such as when people say Happy Mothers Day, I say thank you. The only place the the internet I came today is your website and not Facebook! Many years later, there is a sting of infertility and our failed adoption, but no means like it was . So to many of the tribe, welcome, glad you are at a palace that truly understands, and in time it does get better! Xo 😘 Hugs…. Sandy

Brandi Lytle May 9, 2022 - 1:16 pm

Sandy, I am so honored that you visited Not So Mommy… on Mother’s Day. You are one of 619 people to visit this 2022. I am… Well, speechless. What an honor!

I am so grateful and humbled that you used some of my tips. I am also grateful that the “sting” is less and that you feel understood here.

Sending you so many hugs, fellow warrior!

Anise Eden May 18, 2020 - 2:39 pm

Just found this post today, but it turns out today was when I really needed it. Thank you for sharing your love, fierceness, and positivity!

Brandi Lytle May 18, 2020 - 4:13 pm

I’m so grateful that the right words reached you at just the right time! And your words–that I share “love, fierceness, and positivity” reached me at just the right time. It was a rough morning, but you have made my day better! HUGS…

Sherry May 7, 2022 - 8:56 am

Love, fierceness and positivity describe you so perfectly. You are a force of nature helping others to find their joy. God Bless You!!

Brandi Lytle May 9, 2022 - 1:16 pm

Thank you! HUGS

Analia Toros May 11, 2020 - 12:38 am

Thank you !!

Brandi Lytle May 11, 2020 - 11:22 am

It is my humble pleasure 🙂

Mali May 10, 2020 - 7:02 pm

Sending hugs back.

Michelle May 10, 2020 - 4:56 pm

Your blog was so helpful today. This is my hardest year yet on my CBNC journey. In the last year, infertility broke my marriage after 19 years together (12 married). He got his new GF pregnant only 6 weeks after officially leaving me. This is my first Mother’s Day where I feel like I can no longer have the hope of ‘someday’. Plus, I can’t even call myself a dog-mom this year because I had to say goodbye to both my fur babies within a week in March. Needless to say, it’s been rough. So you deserve a thanks for making me feel like I still have some value today. Bless you!

Brandi Lytle May 11, 2020 - 11:25 am

Michelle, I am so grateful that you came to the blog today and found some value. Because you definitely have value! I’m so sorry for your struggles, your losses. My heart aches for you, as I “get” how “rough” this time of year can be. I pray that life is a bit gentler with you soon. Sending you loads of hugs…

Angela May 10, 2020 - 3:12 pm

Thank you for encouraging and reminding others that we are not alone on this emotional day. I love feeling that there is a tribe that truly understands! Much love!

Brandi Lytle May 11, 2020 - 11:25 am

I am so grateful that you have found your tribe (our tribe) who “gets it!” Sending love back to you…

LC May 10, 2020 - 11:56 am

Thank you so much for reaching out today. It’s a tough one to get through, and it helps to know we are not alone.

Melissa May 10, 2020 - 11:07 am

On today of all days it is nice to know I am never alone in my journey. ❤️

Hilary May 10, 2020 - 2:59 pm

Thank you for this!! I was going to avoid the internet today but out of habit, I scrolled through Facebook. I’m glad I did because I found this post.

Ardis May 10, 2020 - 9:43 am

Thank you 🙂 Needed to hear this 🙂

Sherry May 10, 2020 - 8:54 am

You are helpful and inspiring. Always. You, my dear, are fabulous!❤??

Sue May 10, 2020 - 1:42 pm

Thank you for not forgetting about those of us who do suffer! Many people, especially on Mother’s Day, forget about those to whom this day stings, pains, reminds, and hurts. I appreciate the community for making me feel validated and special too!

Brandi Lytle May 11, 2020 - 11:27 am

Thank you for your sweet compliment. And thank you for your support of my journey.

Sandy May 10, 2020 - 8:32 am

You are such a warrior,I love how you sent the info to the company product for endometriosis, they need to know. You inspire me to speak up more for our tribe, we deserve to have a voice.
Your timing is perfect, I was had I g the ultimate Mother’s Day moment, and checked my email, and there it was…. love your blog, and love you….. Thanks for being a voice for some of us who can’t get it out. Xo Sandy

Brandi Lytle May 11, 2020 - 11:29 am

Thank you for your sweet words and making me feel strong! I am honored that I “inspire [you] to speak up more for our tribe…” You are absolutely correct–we do deserve a voice! I’m also grateful that you checked your email and came over to the blog. Thank you for reading and commenting and supporting me on my journey! Sending love back to you…

Lexie May 10, 2020 - 7:28 am

I dread this day every year. Thanks, I really needed that read.

Nicole May 10, 2020 - 7:15 am

Thanks so much your blog is GREAT so glad to know I’m not alone with my struggle of being childless not by choice.


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