WOBBLE WARNING: In this post, I talk about throw pillows, getting my feelings hurt, being a dog mom, and redefining mom’s day… Because even the words “Mother’s Day” are triggering to some, I feel I should caution that this post has the potential to cause a wobble. Though I think it will make you smile more than cry…
Throw pillows and Mom’s Day… What are you talking about, Brandi?! Well, indulge me and read on, fabulous one…
On Throw Pillows . . .
I love throw pillows. Right now, at this very moment, I have eight pillows on our Master bed. Ten pillows adorn Bruna’s bed, plus an additional throw pillow on the pink chair in the corner of her room. And there are six throw pillows on our living room sofa. And this does not count the throw pillows that I have stored away in my “decorator closet” upstairs. I have throw pillows for every season and various holidays… Valentine’s Day, Spring, Summer, Halloween, Fall, Christmas, Winter… Yup. I have a throw pillow for that.
Shortly after Dane and I moved into our first home, some friends came over to visit. And I was giving them “the tour.” I can’t remember how many throw pillows were on our Master bed, but I know it was quite a few. And I loved it. I thought it looked ah-mazing! Looking at our bed, one of my friends said, “You take off all those pillows every night and put them back on every morning?!” A look of astonishment was on her face, her tone incredulous. I told her, “Yes. I like them!” But she had hurt my feelings. I was utterly deflated that she didn’t see the beauty in my throw pillows…
Don’t ask me why, but as I made the bed one morning not so long ago—carefully placing all eight pillows at the head—I got to thinking about the story I just told you and about Mother’s Day…
On Mom’s Day . . .
Since adopting Maddie in 2013, I (well… I should say “we” because Dane is a part of this, too) have tried to redefine Mom’s Day. You see, like many childless not by choice, Mother’s Day has caused me a tremendous amount of tears. It has initiated many a wobble, many a heartbreak… I simply couldn’t stand the thought that every May for the rest of my life would bring sadness over what I do not have, the littles that were not to be… So, I decided that we would celebrate what we do have, the kids that are part of our home…
And that means we celebrate my Dog Mom role. Because Maddie is the fur-kid in our home.
Luckily, my hubby indulges my redefining. Often on Mother’s Day, he makes my favorite breakfast of pancakes and sausage. He buys me a card. (Because cards are one of my favorite things!) He takes my picture with Maddie. Lots of pictures. (Because photos are another one of my favorite things!) And we hang out as a family.
One year, we got dressed up and went out to eat. Sitting outside on a beautiful Spring day with Maddie by my side, I was having a glorious Mom’s Day. Until the waitress apologized that our food was taking so long, explaining, “It is Mother’s Day.”
I was bewildered. I looked at Dane and said, “Of course it’s Mother’s Day! Why does she think we are here all dressed up with our fur baby?!”
Well… Because like my incredible throw pillows, not everyone sees the beauty in the dog mom role.
Perspective . . .
And unfortunately, I sometimes… Okay, maybe more often than I should… Okay, definitely more often than I should… Allow the opinions of others to cause me to question, to be deflated, to feel like a fraud, an imposter, a fake…
But you know what?! I’m not a fraud.
I am Maddie’s Mommy. True statement. 100% fact.
I’m not an imposter.
I boldly speak my truth, sharing that I am an over-zealous Dog Mom.
I’m not a fake.
There is absolutely nothing fake about my love for my girl!
I didn’t let my friend’s opinion about throw pillows change my mind about wanting a ton of throw pillows. And I’m not going to let the world’s opinion about dog moms make me change my mind about how my non-traditional family is going to celebrate Mom’s Day.
Because in our house, I am a mom. A non-traditional dog mom. But a mom, nonetheless.
And if you don’t like that… Well, I may just have to throw one of my many throw pillows at you!
Nah. I like my throw pillows too much to do that!
I hope you’re smiling, fabulous ones. Love you, warriors…
If anything I wrote resonates with you, fabulous one, tell us about it in the comments…
Subscribe to my email
I’m going to send out a special email this Saturday with tons of blog links and inspirational sayings to help you manage the wobbles this Mom’s Day…
Do you appreciate the work I’m doing here at Not So Mommy…
Donate & Shop!
Click to shop…
*I am an Amazon Associate, so I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases made through my affiliate links.
Featured Photo: Taken by me; Edited using Canva
2 comments
Mother’s Day this year is even more difficult than it has been in previous years. Last year, I lost both my fur babies within two weeks of each other. BooBoo, my beautiful little girl was 16 (would’ve turned 17 in June) showed me she was ready to go. She was really slowing down. I realized she didn’t have a good quality of life anymore. She died May 25. The day that she died, my other fur baby BubbaLou got really sick. I took him to the vet the next day. He stopped eating and barely drank anything. The vet ran some tests and prescribed antibiotics and liver medication. The vet wanted to see BubbaLou again a week later. He still wasn’t eating. The vet told me BubbaLou was getting worse and recommended an abdominal ultrasound. I immediately took BubbbaLou to see an internal medicine vet who scheduled the ultrasound. BubbaLou was becoming lethargic. The ultrasound result wasn’t good. It said his abdominal cavity was inflamed and he had pancreatitis. The vet was puzzled because BubbaLou didn’t exhibit the signs of a dog with pancreatitis. He said there was some underlying condition causing my baby’s health to decline. BubbaLou was immediately admitted to the pet hospital. He wasn’t improving. The vet told me the prognosis wasn’t good. The next day I was called and told that BubbaLou’s liver was failing. There was nothing that could be done to save my baby. My baby was suffering. I made the painful decision to have him euthanized. When I was saying g goodbye to him, he put his paw on my hand. Right before he died, he turned and looked at me before he closed his eyes. I am the last person he saw before he closed his eyes. He was 12. I told the vet that I was there two weeks ago that I was there two weeks ago, putting my other dog down. As I was leaving the pet hospital, I was given BooBoo’s ashes. I picked up BubbaLou’s ashes almost two weeks later. I sat in the car and cried. I told my baby that he was finally coming home but that wasn’t how I wanted him to come home. I still haven’t been able to take the wooden boxes containing their ashes out of the bags that were given to me. It’s still very painful for me. I was prepared for BooBoo’s death as much as I could. But I wasn’t prepared for BubbaLou’s. His sickness came on so suddenly. I never anticipated losing both my babies. I miss them so much. It hurts so much. The one year anniversary of their deaths are coming up. I still ask God why he took my BubbaLou two weeks after BooBoo died. They were Shih Tzus. I was really blessed to have them in my life. I can feel their spirits in the house. I have felt BubbaLou snuggle next to me in bed. The first time it happened, I know you I wasn’t imagining it. It was a feeling I hadn’t felt since the night before he was admitted to the hospital. I know it was him because he would always get very close to me. Every time, I wish I could rest my hand in him like I used to. I miss my babies so much. I am 49 and when I was younger I thought I would have a child by now. Every year I don’t look forward to Mothers Day. But having my fur babies, made the day much easier to get through. Now that my fur babies are gone, I’m dreading Mother’s Day even more. I’m not only grieving the little I wanted but I am still grieving my fur babies.
Cynthia, my heart aches for you… I am so, so sorry for the loss of both your fur babies. And I am so, so sorry that you had to suffer their losses only two weeks apart. That is truly heartbreaking. I completely understand why this Mother’s Day is so difficult, as you are no doubt overwhelmed by grief. I truly wish I had words of wisdom, something that would help you heal… What I do have… I validate your grief. I feel your pain. I send you hugs… And I thank you for trusting me and this community enough to share your story…