On Being Childless: Live Authentically

by Brandi Lytle
The olive green Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon on "Live Authentically" on Not So Mommy..., an infertility & childless blog

As I began to look towards 2022, I considered what my New Year’s Resolution should be.  I thought about my 2014 resolution—the resolution I made as I stepped into year one of trying to accept a childless life.  Eight years ago, I wrote this to myself…

My 2014 Resolution…

“Stop trying to obtain the ‘perfect’ life in my head and instead embrace the blessed life that God has given me.”

That resolution helped me to change perspective.  That’s when I fully and over-zealously embraced my role as a dog mom, truly beginning my journey to redefining momhood…

Resolutions for 2019, 2020, 2021…

Since starting Not So Mommy…, I’ve made a few more resolutions…

In 2019, I resolved to “Stop expecting others to understand my childless life.  Just embrace my life and live who I am authentically and with joy!”

In 2020, I decided to strive to continue working towards my 2019 goal.  I mean, I worked on my 2014 resolution for five years!  Actually, I’m still working on it…

And in 2021, a comment on Instagram inspired me to challenge we fabulous ones to “Scribble outside the lines!”

My 2022 Resolution…

As I considered past resolutions and pondered what I’d like my future to hold, I realized that the one thing I really want to do is remain true to myself.  And that goal turned into my 2022 Resolution…

Live Authentically.

Honestly, I think these two little words sum up my resolutions since 2014.


Live Authentically.


What does this mean?

What does “live authentically” mean exactly?

Well, for me, it means that I will continue to boldly speak my truth as…Photo of Brandi Lytle, founder and owner of Not So Mommy... wearning her "My Children Bark" t-shirt

  • An infertile, childless, post-menopausal endo warrior.
  • An over-zealous wife, dog mom, aunt, host mom.
  • Someone who is grieving AND finding joy despite…
  • A fabulous one who is accepting, embracing, redefining, living this imperfectly perfect life.

Yes, I will embrace the fact that I am a highly sensitive person (HSP), a perfectionist, a worrier…  A lover of pumpkins and Hello Kitty and pink…  An aerialist, a digital collage maker, a blogger…  A Christian who believes in the Bible…  I am uniquely me.  And I will live authentically as me.

How will you live authentically?

How will you live authentically in 2022, fabulous one?  What is your truth?  Who are you—at your core?

Are you in the depths of grief?  Own that.

Are you ready to let go and try to accept what is…?  Take the first step.

Are you at the point of redefining and even embracing?  Continue on despite the fact that others may not get it!

Are you all of the above and then some?!  Well, isn’t that the childless journey?!  Complex and FULL of emotions…

Our childless not by choice community gets it.

Find support, love, and encouragement here at the Not So Mommy… blog, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, & Twitter AND on the Childless Resources page.

You are NOT alone, fabulous one.  Embrace ALL that you are.  Live authentically.

Sending you so many HUGS…

If anything I said resonates, fabulous one, tell us about it in the comments…
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Mali January 9, 2022 - 10:26 pm

I’m going to have to go away now to figure out what “Live Authentically” means for me. Thanks for the food for thought, and Happy New Year!

Brandi Lytle January 10, 2022 - 10:17 am

Grateful I could give you something to ponder! Happy New Year to you, Mali! 🙂

Sherry January 3, 2022 - 3:48 pm

Can’t wait to see what 2022 holds for you. It will be spectacular!❤💚💜🐾💪


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