It is quite common for the childless to discuss paths to acceptance. Recently, I saw a post about the “Dog Mom” Plan B, and the fact that not all childless consider their pets “fur babies.” In fact, some childless really do not like the term “fur parents” and dislike being called an animal’s mom. (For me, I do NOT like the term “animal.” Maddie is so much more than that! But I digress…)
While I understand the need to educate those outside our tribe that not all childless follow the same Plan B, I am always saddened when this “are pet parents really parents” debate occurs within childless groups. In my humble opinion, we CNBC should know how difficult it is to reach a point of acceptance. So, why can’t we just support each other’s Plan Bs, even if it’s not our own—even if we don’t fully understand, nor embrace it?
So Many Paths to Acceptance . . .
Filling empty arms…
For example, there are childless who fill their empty arms with dolls. They name their lifelike doll babies, buy clothes for them, and take them out in car seats and strollers. While this is not my Plan B, I can see the value in having something to hold, something to love. And so, I place no judgement. I engage in no debates about the legitimacy of this path to acceptance.
Finding our paths…
Some fully embrace our roles as pet parents; some fill their arms with baby dolls. Some completely commit to careers; others to furthering their education. Some childless travel; some volunteer. Some embrace a family of two; others “collect” family.
A new movement…
There is even a group stating they are “childFREE after infertility.” While I feel the freedom and empowerment this mindset can bring, I am still passionately committed to stating, “I am childless, but I am NOT childfree.” (My “collected” nieces, nephews, exchange daughter, and fur babies keep me from a childfree status—at least, in my mind.) Though I don’t embrace “childfree after infertility” for myself, I am virtual friends with members of this community. And I share their sites because I realize it could help someone else find their path to acceptance, their key to moving forward…
A complicated journey…
I suppose I say all this to show how complicated this childless (for some, childfree) journey is… That’s why it’s so vital that our community support various paths to acceptance. I mean, you don’t have to embrace it nor claim it as your own. If it’s genuinely helping others accept the what is and find joy, however, then it’s a good thing in my books!
With SO MANY Paths to Acceptance . . .
And there are so many paths to acceptance . . .
- At Not So Mommy…, I encourage you to redefine. Personally, I am redefining momhood through dog mom and host mom roles.
- World Childless Week encourages CNBC to embrace the term “childless” and discover that we are more.
- Tia Gendusa, Chasing Creation, and others are leading a powerful, new movement, embracing the mindset of “childfree after infertility.”
- Nicci Fletcher felt that neither childless nor childfree accurately described her. So, she created the acronym CANBACE, Creating A New, Beautiful And Courageous Existence.
- Most recently, Liz Campbell launched her “Redefining My Plan A” Facebook page, sharing motivation and showing how joyful a CNBC life can be…
Discover your unique path to acceptance, fabulous one…
So, whether the “. . .” part of your Not So Mommy… story is paw prints as a fur mommy, forget-me-nots as you participate in WCW, flamingos as you rock a CANBACE life, or, most likely, your own unique combination—Embrace your path to acceptance! Live your imperfectly perfect life authentically, accepting the what is, living joyfully, as you redefine and move forward…
*Fabulous one, no matter the situation that brought you to a childless not by choice life nor the path you’ve chosen as Plan B, the olive green Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon is a symbol for all—childless after infertility, childless by chance, and childless by circumstance. In fact, it’s even for those who aren’t childless, but want to show their support for the strong men and women who find joy despite…
If anything I wrote resonates with you, please tell us about it in the comments!
Subscribe to my email and receive monthly newsletters with links to blog posts, images with uplifting quotes, news about what’s going on within the CNBC community, & more!
I was inspired to write this blog when I received the World Childless Week Newsletter announcing the themes for WCW 2019. If you’d like to read more about moving forward with a childless life, check out The 3rd Annual World Childless Week, held Sept 16-22, 2019.
Featured Photo: Created by me using Canva
