“To enjoy being an individual while cherishing the companionship of others is the best thing for life. -Troy Higgins
Way back in 1991, my Daddy gave me the book “Walden & Other Writings of Henry David Thoreau.” On the inside, he wrote, “To enjoy being an individual while cherishing the companionship of others is the best thing for life.” I was 14-years-old at the time and a Freshman in high school. Enjoying being an individual was tough back then…
I didn’t realize at that time how important this book would be to me. I didn’t know that only 10 short years later, my Daddy would pass away from colon cancer at 51-years-young. I didn’t know that touching something he held and seeing his handwriting saying “I love you, Brandi” would be a couple of the only tangible things I’d have of my Daddy…
Today is his birthday. He would have been 68. It’s hard to believe that he’ll have been gone for 17 years this May…
But the words he wrote to me when I was just 14 still ring true. Enjoying being my true and authentic self has brought me much joy. While struggling through infertility, I coveted what others had. I wanted so desperately to be something else, someone else. Why couldn’t I get pregnant? Why couldn’t I have a baby? Why couldn’t I be blessed? Once I stopped focusing on others’ lives and instead started really looking at my own, I realized that infertility isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a person. Don’t get me wrong. It sucks. But I stopped allowing it to control my life, my emotions, my thoughts, my self-worth… I embraced it as part of who I am as an individual, accepted the fact that I am a childless woman, and started enjoying my life as it is.
And part of enjoying my life is “cherishing the companionship of others.” Once I stopped fixating on my own struggles, I was able to be more available to my friends and family. I was able to help colleagues, take dinners to Church family, laugh with my closest friends, and fully enjoy time spent with my nieces, nephews, and fur babies. Once I accepted who I am, I was also able to open my heart to a different type of momhood–being a host mom.
I think my Daddy would be proud of who I have become. I think he’d be glad that I made it through my infertility battle, climbed out of the pit of despair, and learned how to love myself and others again. I wish I could hug him and talk to him about it all, but that will have to wait until we meet again in Heaven…
Fabulous one, do you “enjoy being an individual while cherishing the companionship of others?” I pray that you do. Because you are amazing and wonderful and strong and imperfectly perfect. Embrace the flaws, accept the what is, and live life with joy!
Not sure how to take that first step to accepting a childless life? Read this…
Featured Photo: Wil Stewart on StockSnap.io
I love this!! “ enjoy being an individual while enjoying the companionship of others!”.
Just coming here from your comment on my blog. I find this post touching and inspirational, and also your own story of making a big change at age 40. I admire that so much.
I love this: “enjoy being an individual while cherishing the companionship of others”… And your dad sounds like he was a lovely man, I’m sorry you lost him so young
Thank you for your sweet, sweet words. 🙂
Wise words from a father that loved and cherished you. ???