It might seem odd that I am writing about how to survive childless holidays on a Good Things Monday. After all, I encourage you to look at things with a different perspective, to find joy in the what is. And this year, our childless holidays series has been about hope. So, how does simply surviving fit into the “find the bright side” mentality of Not So Mommy…? Isn’t it a bit of a “bah humbug” attitude?
Let’s go back to hope…
Be honest & open…
Well, let’s go back to hope for a moment. Near the beginning of this series, I stated that the H in hope stands for Honest and the O stands for Open. This meant, to find hope, we must first be honest and open about our struggles. (You can read more about that here.)
The holidays can be hard…
For some (perhaps many) childless not by choice, being honest and open means admitting that the holiday season is difficult. And try as we might, there are times when finding the joy, seeing the different perspective, looking at the bright side is simply out of reach. There are times when the grief overwhelms, the desire to have what it seems everyone else can so easily attain is all we can see, and the bright side… There are times when we kind-of want to smack the chipper cheerleader telling us to look at the bright side!
It’s a good thing to talk about it…
Because of this, I believe it is a good thing to talk honestly and openly about surviving childless holidays. I believe it is a good thing to trust this community enough to be vulnerable and admit that sometimes childless holidays really suck. Yes, I believe it’s a good thing to be real about how we feel. So, I believe it is a really good thing to share some strategies about how to survive potentially triggering childless holidays.
So, that is exactly what we are going to do this Good Things Monday…
How to Survive Childless Holidays
Back in May…
In May, I wrote a blog entitled “4 Strategies to Survive Mother’s Day & Other Triggers.” Honestly, this blog could have been named “4 Strategies to Survive Childless Holidays.” So, I encourage you to read that post by clicking here. (Just make sure to come back to this post after you get done because I want to talk a bit more about hope…)
One line from May’s blog about surviving Mother’s Day really struck me…
“A terminally ill patient looked at her doctor and stated, ‘Hanging on to hope may make you feel better, but it just makes me feel alone.’”
Well, that doesn’t seem to fit this year’s Childless Holidays Series, which is all about finding and spreading hope, now does it?
Different perspectives on hope…
This is where perspective becomes important. In May, I was looking at hope in terms of “not giving up” on having a little. And that kind of hope does not make the childless not by choice feel better. In fact, that kind of hope often makes us feel very, very alone. (You can read more about that here.)
But the kind of hope I’m talking about this season… Well, it’s the kind of hope where we can be honest and open about our struggles. The kind of hope that says, “You are having a difficult time this holiday season? Well, let me give you some strategies about how to survive childless holidays.” The kind of hope that remembers what is was like to be in the pit of despair and wants to help you feel less alone until you are able to climb out…
Yes, it’s a good thing to talk about it…
So, how to survive Mother’s Day, Christmas, and other triggers… Yes, this topic is quite appropriate on Good Things Monday. Because being able to be honest and open about our struggles, being comfortable enough to be vulnerable, being able to help and provide hope… Well, these are definitely good things!
If anything I wrote resonated with you fabulous one, I’d love to hear about it in the comments.
On Wed, 19 Dec, I’ll share the final blog in this year’s Childless Holidays Series, “Finding & Spreading Hope.”
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