Finding My Pretty as an Infertile, Menopausal, Childless Woman

by Brandi Lytle
Photo of a glass ball with reflection of a spring tree showing through on Finding My Pretty as an Infertile, Menopausal, Childless Woman on Not So Mommy..., a childless blog

Shortly after launching The Not So Mommy… Shop, I received a DM on Insta, asking if I’d like to receive some MONAT hair care products.  I’m always a bit leery when I get these types of messages, wondering who the person is and what they really want…

So, I bluntly asked, “Why do you want to share your MONAT products on a childless not by choice site?”  The response…

Catrina (the woman with whom I was messaging) is childless after infertility.  According to her, finding MONAT and being able to have beautiful hair helped her as she recovered from a difficult infertility battle.  So, she wants to share these products with others, helping them to find their beauty, too.

Now that is a GOOD answer!

So, I agreed to give MONAT hair care products a try and write a review about them here at Not So Mommy…

The All-Important Disclaimer…

I received the MONAT Effortless Style System, which includes smoothing shampoo, conditioner, and blow-out cream.  I was NOT paid to write this blog, however.  Also, this blog does NOT contain affiliate links to MONAT.  If you purchase MONAT products from Catrina, I won’t get a dime.  But you will be supporting another childless warrior.

Now, back to my thoughts on MONAT . . .

Finding Pretty…

When Catrina said finding MONAT hair care products helped her to feel pretty again, that resonated deep within.  If I’m completely honest, I haven’t felt very pretty lately.  In fact, I haven’t really felt pretty for nearly a year.  (At least, not on a consistent basis.)  Menopause has caused me to gain about 20 pounds, my endo belly seems to be getting bigger by the day, grey hair is showing, wrinkles are forming…  I remind myself that growing old is a privilege denied to many.  (I mean, my best friend passed away at only 40.)  But as the jeans get tighter and the imperfections become more visible…  Well, it can be hard to remember what is really important…

A Struggle…

As for my hair…  Well, I was blessed with thick hair.  Though I think my hair is a beautiful color (minus the grey), infertility meds, medical menopause, and actual menopause have all caused it to change.  The fly-aways, the frizziness…  My hair has a mind of its own.  Oh, it drives me crazy!  And that’s the “problem” I told Catrina about.

A Solution?

So, she sent me MONAT’s “Effortless Style System.”  (That sounds like me.  I’m a wash, let dry overnight, brush in the morning, and go kind-of gal.)  This system includes all-natural, vegan shampoo, conditioner, and blow-out cream.  Now, I must be honest.  When I first used the shampoo, I was not sure I was going to like it.  The texture was unusual, it didn’t lather like shampoos I normally use, and the smell was…  Well, it’s not bad, but it’s not sweet either.  It’s different.  I continued using it, however, knowing that I shouldn’t make a rash, snap judgment.  Now, the conditioner and blow-out cream…  I liked them from the start.

After a month of using MONAT hair care products, I have really grown to love the entire “Effortless Style” system.  My hair looks healthier, and it really is smoother!  Though it may sound silly, these products really are helping me find my pretty.  Honestly, I’m going to want to continue to use this system…

MONAT . . .

So, I checked out Catrina’s “My MONAT” website.  As expected, the cost of this system is quite a bit more than what I normally spend on hair care products.  But I’m not having to use nearly as much product as I do when I buy the store-bought stuff.  Plus, MONAT products contain no toxic ingredients, as they are vegan.  Also, they do not test on animals.  Because of these things, I think their products are worth paying a bit more.

Want to find your pretty?

If you’d like to check out MONAT’s full line of products, click here.  As I said before, if you purchase from MONAT, I won’t get a dime.  You will be supporting Catrina’s business, however.  (Products available in the US, Canada, & the UK!) Photo of a woman wearing jeans holding different colored bags on The Not So Mommy... Shop, featuring products relevant for we childless not by choice

If you’d like to check out more self-care, health, & wellness products, visit The Not So Mommy… Shop.  (Sales from The Shop help keep Not So Mommy… up & running.)

Learn more about Catrina…

If you’d like to read more about Catrina’s childless not by choice story, click here…


If anything I wrote resonates with you, fabulous one, please tell us about it in the comments.
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Featured Photo:  Created by me, using Canva

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Debbie October 21, 2019 - 6:20 pm

Thank you. I too haven’t been feeling beautiful in a long time and realized it yesterday. I live overseas. Hair products here make my hair very oily. Nothing helps. Clothes are designed for mostly straight, flat chested women and I am curvy, big chested. And as I’ve gained similar weight in the last year, I am dreading the need to go shopping only to discover that literally nothing fits. I think, in American sizes , I am somewhere around an 8,10, possibly a 12. But it’s been 3 years since I’ve been in my home country and went shopping. So I am struggling with looking beautiful, wanting to look beautiful, and living in a country that sells clothes not tailored for my body shape.

Thank you for this blog.

Brandi Lytle October 22, 2019 - 1:46 pm

Debbie, thank you for sharing your heart and your truth. I’m so sorry that you haven’t felt beautiful and are struggling with finding clothes that fit properly. There is nothing like shopping (which should be fun) to make you feel even worse about your body image when nothing seems to fit right! The struggle is real… 🙁 Though I am sorry for your struggles, I’m grateful the blog resonated and hopefully, helped you realize that you are not alone. So many hugs…

Sherry October 21, 2019 - 2:53 pm

Your pretty is always there. However, life does have a way of rearranging things. It’s sometimes hard to adjust, but you are a beautiful young woman. You just don’t see yourself as others do. Pretty is an understatement. ?❤?

Brandi Lytle October 22, 2019 - 1:47 pm

As always, thank you for your support and love. You are one of the most beautiful women I know… Love you to the moon!

Anne Brock October 21, 2019 - 2:08 pm

I love seeing the support in this community!

Brandi Lytle October 22, 2019 - 1:47 pm

It is an amazing group, that is for sure! 🙂


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