Embracing a Childfree Halloween

by Brandi Lytle
Photo of suckers with sparkles on them on "Embracing a Childfree Halloween" on Not So Mommy..., a childless blog
Trigger Warning:  Brief discussion about feelings of missing out at Halloween…

Those of you who follow Not So Mommy… know that I do not normally use the term “childfree” to describe myself.  In fact, I have adamantly stated on more than one occasion that I am childless, NOT childfree.  (I actually wrote an entire blog about that.  You can read it here.)  But as I started thinking about this year’s holiday, I realized that my hubby and I are, in fact, going to celebrate a childfree Halloween.

Now, I did buy Maddie the most adorable “wicked sweet” t-shirt dress.  And, of course, we visited the pumpkin patch and snapped some pics.  But we won’t be with our fur baby on Halloween Day.  In fact, we won’t be with her nearly the entire week of Halloween…

This makes me a little sad, but it’s time to really embrace what Halloween can be since we don’t have two-legged kids.  (And our four-legged one doesn’t mind us being gone on October 31st!)  So, rather than sit on the couch watching “Halloweentown,” with the jack-o-lantern lit and porch light on, waiting for trick-or-treaters who never come since we live on acreage or make my hubby drive me around so that we can see littles dressed up in their costumes since we don’t have one of our own (not made-up scenes… I’m describing recent Halloweens of mine), we are going out of town.

At the end of last year, my hubby asked if I’d like to go to New Orleans to see Ed Sheeran in concert.  The only catch?  The concert was on Halloween, so we wouldn’t be able to spend the holiday with Maddie.  It didn’t take me long to decide.  We had an amazing trip to NYC last Thanksgiving, celebrating Turkey Day with Maddie after we got home.  So, I told my hubby that, as long as we could celebrate with our fur baby at some point during October, I was game for spending the 31st in Louisiana!

So, he bought the tickets and we’ve been looking forward to this trip for months!  A just-the-two-of-us, check out the French Quarter, go to the concert, drink-and-be-merry trip!  And it dawned on me…  We are going to celebrate a childfree Halloween!  And I am excited about it and embracing it and focusing entirely on the bright sides of it!

Now, parents may think this sounds absolutely ridiculous.  I mean, how can a get-away with your spouse to watch an amazing concert and hang out together have anything but bright sides?  Well, remember those Halloweens I described before?  The ones where my hubby drove me around neighborhoods just so I could get a peek at trick-or-treating and see the cute costumes?  I used to feel like I was missing out…

But not this year.  This year, as I continue to create a new, beautiful and courageous existence, I know without a doubt that I am childless, NOT childfree.  But I can acknowledge and even embrace some childfree aspects of my life without diminishing how much I love the kiddos in my life.  I mean, just because parents want a vacation without kids doesn’t mean they don’t love their littles with all their hearts.  So, why should I feel badly about embracing the bright sides of my childlessness?

Yep.  A Childfree Halloween . . .  That is definitely a good thing!


If anything I wrote resonates with you, fabulous one, I’d love to hear about it in the comments…


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Shayla October 29, 2018 - 11:13 pm

I recently just started reading your blog and I have to say that I am blow away by your positivity! Honestly I’m so jealous lol! My husband and I tried for 10 years to get pregnant and it never happened so we basically just stopped but your outlook on life is so much more positive than mine is if I’m being honest!

Brandi Lytle October 30, 2018 - 11:03 pm

Thank you for your kind words about my blog and positivity, Shayla! It took me a loooong time to get here. And I only made it because I had the support of my hubby, plus relied heavily on God to help me through the tough times. I hope that you are able to find the bright sides to a childless not by choice life, too. Lots of hugs!

Sherry Stout October 29, 2018 - 2:03 pm

You are going to have a fantastic Halloween!!!!! Where better than NOLA?? And I really want pictures of Maddie in that cute shirt.??


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