44 Shades of Pink . . .
Are you intrigued?
Tomorrow, 13 April, is my 44th birthday. Last year, I had planned to write an empowering post entitled “43 & Uniquely Me.” And then… Well, we all know what 2020 looked like! So, my 2020 birthday post ended up being “43 & Childless during a Pandemic…” (You can read it here.) Thank goodness I had that post scheduled early (as I always do because I am a planner) because I woke up sick on my 43rd birthday. No, it wasn’t Coronavirus. (Though don’t think that didn’t immediately cross my mind!) In fact, I was sick for nearly my entire birthday week. But I digress…
This year (despite the fact that the pandemic still lingers…), I decided to write that empowering birthday post. But “44 & Uniquely Me” just doesn’t quite have the ring that “43 & Uniquely Me” does. So, I decided to entitle my 2021 birthday post, “44 Shades of Pink . . .” Because, you know, I LOVE pink! And because there is this selfie I want to tell you about… A selfie that’s the real inspiration behind this post. But let’s start at the beginning…
Living in the grey…
When I founded Not So Mommy… in 2017, there were very specific reasons that I chose the name, the logo, the “. . .” (You can read about that here.) And I decided that my profile picture would be displayed in black and white, which is really a thousand shades of grey. That choice was deliberate because I felt like I live in the grey of life. This is not a bad thing, not blah by any means. But my life is more complicated than “the norm.” I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think there was more to my decision to use a black and white–thousand shades of grey–photo…
Accepting…
You see, in 2017, I truly thought that I had accepted my childless not by choice life. I was in year 4 of knowing that we’d never have a biological or adopted kid. I was in year 4 of fully and over-zealously embracing my dog mom role. And I was able to find the bright side of infertility. So, yes, I was on the path of accepting my CNBC life. But I don’t think I had fully embraced it, yet.
Embracing…
Now, in 2021, I believe that I am starting to really and truly embrace being childless not by choice. Because of that, I feel like I’m finally beginning to live my life in color. Hence, the title—44 Shades of Pink . . .
If you are a regular here at Not So Mommy…, you know that I love pink. Actually, I thought I outgrew the color in middle school, believing pink was for little girls. But the older I get, the more I embrace this light, feminine color. It reminds me of Hello Kitty (who I adore!) and softness, but bravery as well. Because it takes guts to be a strong, yet tender woman.
Capturing a moment…
As I was sitting at my desk working on Not So Mommy… one day, I caught a glimpse of my reflection on my computer screen. And I liked what I saw. So, I took a selfie because I really wanted to capture this moment. As I looked at what is basically a candid shot (I only took one) with no filter, I really love what I see…
I’m wearing my absolute favorite pink Dog Mom sweatshirt. I wear this shirt at least once a week. (Sometimes twice!) I love the dark pink lipstick I’m wearing and the pink band on my Fitbit (affiliate link) (because I’m in my 40s and have to remember to get my steps so I don’t gain weight and so my endo belly doesn’t flare too much). I love that you can see the pink stones in the tulip ring that Dane gave me for our 20th anniversary. (The non-traditional ring that I decided to wear alongside my wedding band.) And I love that I’m wearing my purple glasses, which remind me of my best friend who passed away. Because purple was her favorite color. Yes, I adore this photo!
Back to grey…
Because I like to keep my Not So Mommy… profile pic in black and white (at least most of the time), I edited this fabulous photo to a thousand shades of grey. And though I like it in black and white, it isn’t spectacular. Because this wasn’t a thousand shades of grey moment. This was a pink moment.
And that is when I realized…
44 Shades of Pink . . .
Since beginning Not So Mommy… in 2017, I have moved from black & white to color. I have moved from a thousand shades of grey to 44 shades of pink . . .
And I love this.
I love that I’m feeling more comfortable embracing the fact that I am childless.
I love that I’m becoming even louder and prouder that I am a Dog Mom!
I love that I am less and less embarrassed about the fact that I’ve already gone through menopause.
I love that I am speaking even more boldly for the CNBC community, sharing my thoughts on childless versus childfree, participating in #OwningOurVoice during National Infertility Awareness Week®, sharing the olive green Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon near and far…
Yes, I am finally beginning to really and truly live my life in color. And it feels scary and fabulous all at once!
44 shades of pink . . .
I think this is going to be a good year, a pink year…
National Infertility Awareness Week® begins this Sunday!
We #ChildlessByInfertility are #OwningOurVoice during #NIAW2021

Click to register…
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Featured Photo: Created by me, using Canva
4 comments
Yes yes yes! I love your closing thoughts! Thank you for giving a voice to the CNBC community. Happy Birthday and Happy New Year! xoxo
Thank you, Kathleen! HUGS…
And I think you are one fabulous pink lady!! Your words bring tears of happiness, and your pink selfie brings smiles of joy. You are such a special woman… 💗💗
THANK YOU! Love & Hugs