On Being Childless: 44 Shades of Pink . . .

44 Shades of Pink . . .

Are you intrigued?

Tomorrow, 13 April, is my 44^th birthday.  Last year, I had planned to write an empowering post entitled “43 & Uniquely Me.”  And then…  Well, we all know what 2020 looked like!  So, my 2020 birthday post ended up being “43 & Childless during a Pandemic…”  (You can read it here.)  Thank goodness I had that post scheduled early (as I always do because I am a planner) because I woke up sick on my 43^rd birthday.  No, it wasn’t Coronavirus.  (Though don’t think that didn’t immediately cross my mind!)  In fact, I was sick for nearly my entire birthday week.  But I digress…

This year (despite the fact that the pandemic still lingers…), I decided to write that empowering birthday post.  But “44 & Uniquely Me” just doesn’t quite have the ring that “43 & Uniquely Me” does.  So, I decided to entitle my 2021 birthday post, “44 Shades of Pink . . .”  Because, you know, I LOVE pink!  And because there is this selfie I want to tell you about…  A selfie that’s the real inspiration behind this post.  But let’s start at the beginning…

Living in the grey…

When I founded Not So Mommy… in 2017, there were very specific reasons that I chose the name, the logo, the “. . .” (You can read about that here.)  And I decided that my profile picture would be displayed in black and white, which is really a thousand shades of grey.  That choice was deliberate because I felt like I live in the grey of life.  This is not a bad thing, not blah by any means.  But my life is more complicated than “the norm.”  I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think there was more to my decision to use a black and white–thousand shades of grey–photo…

Accepting…

You see, in 2017, I truly thought that I had accepted my childless not by choice life.  I was in year 4 of knowing that we’d never have a biological or adopted kid.  I was in year 4 of fully and over-zealously embracing my dog mom role.  And I was able to find the bright side of infertility.  So, yes, I was on the path of accepting my CNBC life.  But I don’t think I had fully embraced it, yet.

Embracing…

Now, in 2021, I believe that I am starting to really and truly embrace being childless not by choice.  Because of that, I feel like I’m finally beginning to live my life in color.  Hence, the title—44 Shades of Pink . . .

If you are a regular here at Not So Mommy…, you know that I love pink.  Actually, I thought I outgrew the color in middle school, believing pink was for little girls.  But the older I get, the more I embrace this light, feminine color.  It reminds me of Hello Kitty (who I adore!) and softness, but bravery as well.  Because it takes guts to be a strong, yet tender woman.

Capturing a moment…

As I was sitting at my desk working on Not So Mommy… one day, I caught a glimpse of my reflection on my computer screen.  And I liked what I saw.  So, I took a selfie because I really wanted to capture this moment.  As I looked at what is basically a candid shot (I only took one) with no filter, I really love what I see…

I’m wearing my absolute favorite pink Dog Mom sweatshirt.  I wear this shirt at least once a week.  (Sometimes twice!)  I love the dark pink lipstick I’m wearing and the pink band on my Fitbit (affiliate link) (because I’m in my 40s and have to remember to get my steps so I don’t gain weight and so my endo belly doesn’t flare too much).  I love that you can see the pink stones in the tulip ring that Dane gave me for our 20^th anniversary.  (The non-traditional ring that I decided to wear alongside my wedding band.)  And I love that I’m wearing my purple glasses, which remind me of my best friend who passed away.  Because purple was her favorite color.  Yes, I adore this photo!

Back to grey…

Because I like to keep my Not So Mommy… profile pic in black and white (at least most of the time), I edited this fabulous photo to a thousand shades of grey.  And though I like it in black and white, it isn’t spectacular.  Because this wasn’t a thousand shades of grey moment.  This was a pink moment.

And that is when I realized…

44 Shades of Pink . . .

Since beginning Not So Mommy… in 2017, I have moved from black & white to color.  I have moved from a thousand shades of grey to 44 shades of pink . . .

And I love this.

I love that I’m feeling more comfortable embracing the fact that I am childless.

I love that I’m becoming even louder and prouder that I am a Dog Mom!

I love that I am less and less embarrassed about the fact that I’ve already gone through menopause.

I love that I am speaking even more boldly for the CNBC community, sharing my thoughts on childless versus childfree, participating in #OwningOurVoice during National Infertility Awareness Week®, sharing the olive green Childless Not By Choice Awareness Ribbon near and far…

Yes, I am finally beginning to really and truly live my life in color.  And it feels scary and fabulous all at once!

44 shades of pink . . .

I think this is going to be a good year, a pink year…

National Infertility Awareness Week® begins this Sunday!

We #ChildlessByInfertility are #OwningOurVoice during #NIAW2021

Check out the blog on Sun for more details!

Click to register…

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Featured Photo: Created by me, using Canva