Wobble Warning:Ā As the title suggests, I am discussing the Bible verse, āBe fruitful and multiply,ā as well as the Popeās recent comments about childlessness.Ā Because of this, there is the possibility of a wobble (or two or three) while reading this blog post.Ā Though I truly believe you will feel empowered by the end, please only read if you are feeling strong enough to make it through the potential wobbles.
“Be fruitful and multiply.”Ā -Genesis 1:28
Before we talk that, let me back up and tell you what prompted me to write about this Bible verseā¦
The Pope…
Like many of you, stories about the Popeās 2022 New Yearās address have shown up numerous times in my newsfeed.Ā I didnāt join the online discussion about his remarks.Ā In fact, it took me several days to decide if I wanted to join in this conversation at all.Ā If by some chance you havenāt heard about the Popeās declaration, here are a couple of quotesā¦
Trigger Warning:Ā Quotes of the Popeās recent comments about childlessness, pet parents, and adoptionā¦
āYes, dogs and cats take the place of children. Yes, it’s funny, I understand, but it is the reality. And this denial of fatherhood or motherhood diminishes us, it takes away our humanity. And in this way civilization becomes aged and without humanity, because it loses the richness of fatherhood and motherhood.”Ā -Pope Francis
āHow many children in the world are waiting for someone to take care of them?Ā Having a child is always a risk, either naturally or by adoption. But it is riskier not to have them. It is riskier to deny fatherhood, or to deny motherhood ā¦āĀ -Pope Francis
*Quotes from 2022 CNN article, āOpting for pets over children is selfish and ‘takes away our humanity,’ says Pope Francisā
My Childless Perspective on the Pope’s Comments…
As a childless not by choice woman who battled infertility for ten years, seriously considered adoption, but ultimately redefined momhood as an over-zealous dog mom, the Popeās comments are disheartening, hurtfulā¦
I am not Catholic.Ā I am, however, Christian.Ā Throughout my life, I have attended Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, and non-denominational Christian churches.Ā So, as I considered Pope Francisās words, I considered them through the lens of my Christian faith.
My Initial Thoughts…
My initial thoughts wereā¦
Pope Francis is a human being.Ā He is not God.Ā And the only entity with whom I place unquestioned belief is God.Ā That being saidā¦
In my humble, not-a-scholar-on-the-Bible, have not gone to seminary, am a flawed human being opinion, the Popeās comments are just his opinion.
That being said, I think we must all remember some very important thingsā¦
- Just because the Pope said it does not mean itās true.
- Not all Catholics will agree with the Popeās comments.
- Not all Christians are hyper-judgmental.
- The Bible does not condemn childlessness.
- Jesus was sinless. And childless.
I did a bit of research about what the Bible does say about childlessness, and I came across the verse, āBe fruitful and multiplyā¦ā from Genesis 1:28.Ā As I considered this verse and what it means, these thoughts came to mindā¦
My Childless Perspective on āBe fruitful and multiplyā
As I stated previously, I have not gone to seminary.Ā Though I have studied the Bible in Church, I have not read it cover to cover.Ā I am a flawed human.Ā A does not have it all together Christian who makes tons of mistakes.Ā That being said, I pondered this verse, wondering if I, as a childless woman, have fulfilled this commandā¦
And I think I have.
How I, a childless woman, have been “fruitful…”
As a blogger & advocate…
In 2017, I started Not So Mommyā¦Ā And I prayed that my blog would reach the right people, that sharing my story would help others on this journey to feel less alone.Ā My prayers have been answered.
As of January 7, 2022…
- 31,192 people visited Not So Mommyā¦ during 2021, viewing 59,622 pages
- 1,552 people have signed up to receive monthly email updates
- 2.9K people follow Not So Mommyā¦ on Instagram
- 2.2K on Facebook
- 847 people on Twitter
- 841 on Pinterest
- 51 fabulous ladies joined the closed Facebook group–Childless Holiday Card Exchange–during the last quarter of 2021, sending & receiving holiday cards from fellow childless warriors (Note: This group will reopen in Sept/Oct 2022 for the 2nd Annual Childless Holiday Card Exchange!)
Yes, I have most definitely been fruitful AND multiplied!
As a plant mom…
As I continued to ponder this verse, I thought about the fact that my husband and I have planted hundreds of plants, bushes, trees, herbs, and vegetables on our two-acres.Ā And weāve specifically planted things that attract bees and butterflies.Ā Because we want them to be fruitful and multiply.
As an aunt & host mom…
We have played significant roles in the lives of our nieces and nephews (by blood, by marriage, and by friendship).Ā And we continue to nurture the relationship with our foreign exchange daughter, seven years after she lived with us.
“Be fruitful and multiply” means more…
To believe that ābe fruitful and multiplyā can only be fulfilled by having biological or adopted children is absolutely preposterous!
As shown, I have fulfilled this verse through my blog, through being a plant mom, an aunt, a host mom.Ā And I havenāt even talked about the FABULOUS life that Dane and I are providing for our fur baby, Maddie.Ā (Unlike Pope Francis, I do not think my dog mom role is āfunnyā or a ādenial of motherhood.ā)
From yet another perspective…
Considering this verse even more deeply, I thought about ābe fruitful and multiplyā from yet another perspective.Ā Galatians 5:22-23 states, āThe fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-controlā¦ā
Is it not possible to ābe fruitfulā and multiply loveāwhether that be as a biological parent, adoptive parent, fur parent, host parent, plant parent, aunt, uncle, teacher, nurse, mentor, friend, and the list goes on and onā¦
To ābe fruitfulā and multiply joy by sending cards to fellow childless, giving care packages to childless elders, sharing a different perspective on a Bible verse, and on and onā¦
āBe fruitfulā and multiply peace by not joining the incessant bickering on social mediaā¦
Multiply patience by giving others the benefit of the doubtā¦
Kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-controlā¦
I truly believe God would be pleased if we would ābe fruitful and multiply,ā filling the Earth with the fruit of the Spiritā¦
Some Final Thoughts…
So, othersāeven the Popeāmight think Iām selfish because after a ten-year battle, I decided that it was time to let go of my dream of traditional momhood, accept my infertility, embrace my life as it is, redefine momhood as a dog momā¦
But Iām quite certain God doesnāt think poorly of me because of this.Ā In fact, though I am an imperfect human being who makes a ton of mistakes, He loves me.Ā The infertile, childless, crazy dog lady me!Ā So, I will continue to ābe fruitful and multiplyā the love and joy and kindness and generosity within our absolutely phenomenal childless community!
LOVE, fabulous ones!Ā So much LOVE!!!
If anything I said resonates, fabulous one, tell us about it in the commentsā¦
Subscribe to my email & receive a free Not Soā¦ Goals Chart to help you live authenticallyā¦
Do you appreciate the work Iām doing here at Not So Mommyā¦
Click to learn more…
Featured Photo: Created by me, using Canva
14 comments
Beautiful!! Thanks for sharing these words; I see that verse in a completely different light! Are you currently attending any church? If you do, would you mind sharing the denomination? I am Catholic but attending Mass is so triggering! Today was Baptism Day (I didn’t know, they don’t let you know ahead of time) and there were so many children! And of course, the priest mentioned “children are a blessing and blah, blah, blah”. After what the Pope said earlier this month, I don’t think I can continue attending.
Gladys, I’m so sorry that you are struggling to attend Mass after the Pope’s insensitive comments and because your Church does not inform the congregation about when baptisms will take place. Unexpectedly having to attend something so kid-centric would definitely cause me to wobble. Again, I’m sorry you have to go through that.
I do attend Church. It is a non-denominational Christian Church. Yesterday during the “ministry spotlight,” the pastor said something about having plenty of activities for “you and your kids.” It seems no matter the denomination, Churches are extremely… I won’t say “family-centered” because family is so much more than kids. They are very “traditional-family-of-parents-and-kids focused.” That being said, the Church I attend does have some adult-only activities. I’ve also seen gatherings for those struggling with infertility and who want to adopt. Finally, they do let the congregation know when baptisms will take place.
Since I am not Catholic, I do not fully understand what it would mean for you to leave your Church and search out another one, of a different Christian denomination. I would encourage, however, you to find a Church home where you can fully develop your relationship with Christ. And a Church home where you feel comfortable talking with those in leadership about the fact that not everyone has children.
Sending you so many hugs…
As another Catholic, Gladys, I know how you feel. It’s hard to feel that the Church is invested in her childless members which seems ironic, given the celibacy of our leadership. I wish that there was a way to address this in our community. Catholic means universal – our strength in faith is supposed to come from our love and appreciation of each member in our community. And yet homilies have become one size fits all. Heck, it’s hard to even get to know anyone at Mass now unless you have children. And even if you do receive acknowledgement, so often it’s an uncomfortable, detached sort of pity… not what I need from my faith community! I miss attending Mass and I do try and go now and then but, though I grew up as a very active member of my church, it hurts to feel like an afterthought. If you’re in the Indianapolis archdiocese or anywhere near, I’d love to connect! Recognizing that’s probably not likely though. Regardless, I will mention you in my prayers to St Jude, who is by now, heartily tired of me, I think. Wishing you love and peace be with you! ā¤
Iām in no way religious or a believer in God. But I feel as tho you hit the nail on the head with this! I think itās fabulous and enlightening! Thank you.
Thank you for reading and for the kind words of validation. Hugs…
Thank you for reminding me that itās āokā for me to be a female misfit. Another Christmas has passedā¦ another year of never knowing the feel of my child and their excitement when they see that Santa did come as promisedā¦. It never gets easier but seeing these posts does help to know I am not alone. I do enjoy the cats ripping through their stockings and the dog chasing them around trying to steal their gift or trying to get her dog snack back! All creatures great and smallā¦..
I AM a Catholic and my faith and the culture of my faith are a pivotal part of how I define myself. I am still sorting through my feelings about these words but I can say this – I have been underwhelming supported in my infertility journey by my faith. In a Church where we are asked by our leaders and dogma to not pursue fertility treatments and to accept the road G-d has set for us, we are subsequently left on the side of that road to hitchhike toward deeper understanding. Certainly adoption should be simpler and certainly if it were then many more people would open their arms and their homes to the abandoned children of the world. But that is parallel to saying that if medicine were simpler, I’d have become a doctor. Duh. And as for choosing pets over children, I believe that G-d gives us all blessings and it’s up to us to recognize them. Certainly every animal in my life who ive lived and has loved me back has been no less a blessing then any of dear family member. I’m disheartened and embarrassed by this…
Please forgive my horrible grammar! I shouldn’t use my phone. š
Catee, thank you for trusting me & the Not So Mommy… community enough to be bravely vulnerable and share your heart. I am so sorry that you have not been supported by your Church throughout your infertility journey. The description you used–“left on the side of that road to hitchhike toward deeper understanding”–is poignant and heartbreaking. And you are right that adoption should be simpler. If it were, then I truly believe my husband and I would have adopted a child. We spent years researching, attending meetings, filling out paperwork… But the cost and rules were overwhelming. I pray you find peace in God’s love and that you feel a sense of belonging here at Not So Mommy… HUGS, fellow warrior!
I am also a Catholic like you, Catee, and although I’m faithful to our Church’s teachings, I agree that our Church often doesn’t seem to know what to do with people who are childless not by choice. The reason I ended up here on Brandi’s blog (thank you, Brandi!) was because of the lack of guidance at a crucial time in our infertility journey.
I have learnt so much about the Lord through my pets past and present, and they help me connect with my family, (which I don’t always find easy). I think it’s part of my vocation to be with animals, and I’m sure there are many others like me š
Thanks for your courage! You will be in my prayers.
Shannon, thank you so much for your words of encouragement to Catee. Despite the circumstance that brought you here, I’m so grateful that you are part of this community! HUGS…
Shannon, thank you for sharing! It’s so grounding to know that we CNBC Catholics aren’t as alone as we feel sometimes. ā¤ And Brandi, your words have most definitely been a light in the darkness. I’m so thankful to have found my way here.
HUGS… So many HUGS!
I love how you worked through this and made it make sense. My favorite message: God would be pleased if we would be fruitful and multiply, filling the earth with the fruit of the Spirit. Amen!!