SENSITIVE POST WITH POSSIBLE TRIGGERS: Real, honest, raw talk about back-to-school photos from the perspective of someone in the midst of her journey AND from my perspective, as a forever childless woman who is redefining…
One of the things I love about Not So Mommy… is that our community is so diverse. Not only do we have fabulous ones from around the globe, but also at different stages of their journey. Many realize that they will forever be childless not by choice. Some, however, are in the midst of their battle, still hoping for the little. Others are at the in-between, struggling to decide if they should let go and accept what is. And there are even a few who are neither childless nor infertile but want to better understand this journey, in order to better support a loved one who is childless and/or infertile.
This beautiful diversity allows for various perspectives to be shared. And you know how I love to look at things with a different perspective…
Childless Perspectives on Back-to-School…
It’s August, so you know what that means… Kids are going back to school. And despite how different this Covid year is, the back-to-school photos are the same as ever–filling social media feeds. Perhaps the parents need to feel like something is normal…
Emily’s Perspective…
Recently, Emily, a fabulous Not So Mommy… community member, reached out to me. She wanted to share her thoughts about back-to-school photos. Here is her perspective…
*Emily’s name and words are shared with permission. Please, remember the trigger warning posted above.
It’s that time of year again when your social media page is filled with pictures of excited kids starting a new school year. Parents post a nice picture of their little ones and caption it with the grade they are entering. It’s an emotional day which I’m sure is bittersweet for a lot of them.
I often think that someday, I’ll get to share in the joy of that experience. Until then, I must suffer through with a half-smile and a sigh. I try to think positive and say, well next year, it’ll be easier. That’s never the case in my book.
It’s really hard to be that crazy cat lady and post the millionth picture of my fur babies doing cute things. Don’t get me wrong–I enjoy it to a point. Part of me wishes I could cut out a picture of a random child and say good luck with your dreams!
One day, we will be able to experience this season of happiness! I guess the waiting gets more difficult and you just become numb with a smile.
As I read her words, I could feel her pain. I responded to Emily, who told me that she and her husband are in the process of adoption. I remember being in the midst of trying, reassuring myself that next year, it would be different…
Brandi’s Perspective…
But year after year, it wasn’t different. Until I finally accepted that I would indeed be forever childless.
And yet, I have still been able to “experience this season of happiness,” as Emily put it. You see, I redefined as a host mom. I took a first day of school photo of Bruna, our exchange daughter. And I proudly posted it on Facebook.
I’ve also redefined as a dog mom. Maddie goes to day camp, which I call “school.” I even bought her a personalized lunchbox! And a monogrammed backpack! (Yes, I am that crazy dog lady who posts too many photos of her fur baby… And proud of it!)
Some Final Thoughts…
Emily, thank you for bravely sharing your heart about back-to-school photos. I do hope you get the little your heart desires.
But if you don’t…
If you are forever childless…
Well, I hope you find a way to redefine, a way to “experience this season of happiness…”
If anything Emily or I wrote resonates with you, fabulous one, please tell us about it in the comments.
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Featured Photo: Created by me, using Canva
