The worst day of every month was the day I found out that I wasn’t pregnant. And this day was even more terrible when my hubby and I were going through infertility treatments that were supposed to get us pregnant. I would be so completely devastated after getting the negative result and all Dane wanted to do was keep my mind off the fact that we weren’t going to have a baby.
So, we would shop. He would take me to my favorite stores and let me try on as many clothes as I wanted and he would always, always buy me something. It’s amazing how a pretty blouse or a new pair of jeans or a comfy sweater can make you feel better. Of course, it was just a temporary fix—a band-aid, of sorts. But my sweet, sweet hubby would do anything on that dreaded day to make me smile.
And so, we would hold hands and walk around the mall, while drinking chocolate shakes, and I would try on clothes. And for a little while, I would forget that I wasn’t pregnant. I just enjoyed my shake and tried to search out a good bargain and something that made me feel cute.
Now the funny part (that I can laugh about now) is that I had pants hanging in my closet ranging from size 8 up to size 12 because shopping on the worst day of the month while drinking a chocolate shake isn’t exactly the best time to buy pants. But I really didn’t care about that because I wanted to get pregnant and fat anyway! And my smart hubby never ever mentioned the pudgy belly.
Looking back, I realize that day every month wasn’t just my worst day; it was my hubby’s worst day, too. But he handled his sadness on his own and always took care of me and my devastation. I wish I would have been there more for him during our struggle. I was just so focused on the fact that I wasn’t pregnant, I really didn’t think about the fact that he wasn’t going to have a baby either….
Maybe taking care of me helped him keep his mind off this fact. I hope so. I hope he looks back and realizes that shopping with me and letting me try on clothes and buying me something pretty…. Well, it turned the worst day of the month into something a bit more bearable.