As told to Brandi Lytle
My favorite emails are from Not So Mommy… community members. I am always honored when one of you shares a bit of your story, your heart, with me. It shows a sense of trust, a willingness to be vulnerable. And I believe that takes great courage and strength. So, when Lisa shared her story with me, and then, agreed to allow it to be published… Well, that makes my heart happy. The fact that she is a fellow endo warrior makes sharing her story in March perfect, as it’s Endometriosis Awareness Month. Lisa has a beautiful perspective about children and families that I think you will find uplifting and inspiring. So, let me turn it over to Lisa…
How did you become childless not by choice? (Infertility, chance, circumstance?)
I have severe endometriosis. I’ve had multiple surgeries and am now looking into permanent options so that I can gain some of my life back. I will be advocating for myself, but a hysterectomy is possibly on the cards. (Note: This is not a cure for endometriosis, but it does help uterus issues.)
You are so much more than childless not by choice. Tell us about yourself!
I love children, so that makes this journey exceptionally difficult. I am stepparent to my partner’s two sons, who I am loving watching grow and change constantly. They keep me on my toes!
I would like to become a Parent Educator. This is where parents and families can speak with me about problems they are having with their child, and I give them some tips and views on what can help them.
I love the idea of helping people, and making the difficult things in life better. Currently, I am in the process of becoming a facilitator with a group of children to teach them about their emotions surrounding death and parental separation, among other things. I want to make a difference.
What roles are you redefining for yourself? and How are you redefining those roles?
Becoming a stepparent is something I am still learning to work out and come to terms with. My partner is a great guy, and it is worth it.
I am trying to redefine and change my ideas of what family is. Before I was with my partner, I was going to be a single foster mother. So, meeting him and my stepsons has truly changed everything.
It is hard looking at my stepsons and knowing I cannot give them a sibling. And that I am not a biological parent. But family isn’t always blood. It’s the people who are there when you need them (and when you don’t realize you need them). It’s about the people you would stand in front of a bullet for.
How are you Creating a New plan Bravely and Courageously?
I am currently working my butt off to become a Parent Educator. This involves looking up and sharing motivating quotes and articles that I find on parenting. I also put my own spin on them. Plus, I share activities people can do with their little people.
I spend a lot of time on endometriosis support groups. I know what it feels like to feel broken. So, I don’t want any other woman going through what I have. So, I spend a lot of time sharing what works for me and just listening and talking to people. I like the idea of taking five minutes out of your day to talk to someone. Those five minutes may just turn their day around.
Have you figured out your Plan B? If so, what is it?!
My Plan B involves being a great maternal figure to my stepsons. I am in no way replacing their mother, but I want to guide them in a positive way when they are with my partner. It’s an amazing feeling teaching a child something and them click on to it because of something I did or said with them.
I have an AMAZING bond with my niece. She has taught me so much about unconditional love. I lived with her for three and a half years, and in that time, she taught me so much. We now live far away from each other, so I send her letters and make her things. FaceTime is an amazing thing!
The rest of my Plan B? It’s just to make a difference in other people’s lives. And hopefully make the people that do have biological children understand how lucky they are to have that privilege.
What emojis represent the “. . .” part of your Not So Mommy… story?
Lisa, thank you for sharing your truth with us! I love that, despite being childless, you have committed to loving children and their parents. Your willingness to help others is a beautiful thing! I am so grateful that you allowed me to share how you are Creating a New Plan Bravely & Courageously…
Fabulous ones, if anything Lisa wrote resonates with you, tell her about it in the comments!
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For information about and to register for a FREE webinar about the realities of living with endometriosis, click here. (Note: One panel member is not CNBC.)
Featured Photo: Anton Atanasov of StockSnap.io