Infertility: A BIG Part of My Story
My infertility is a huge part of who I am. Infertility caused my husband and me to decide to stop trying to get pregnant and just embrace the childless life that we had. It pushed me to embrace my roles as dog mom and aunt. And because of our infertility, we decided to host an exchange student and found an amazing, extended family through that adventure. But for a long time, I felt alone because I didn’t think there was anyone else like me…
Of course, this simply is not true. There are plenty of us out there who don’t have kids, either by chance or by choice. One morning, my husband said I should start writing a blog about our infertility so I could help others going through the struggle. He told me I should call it “Not So Mommy….” He bought the domain name that day and Not So Mommy…™ was born.
As I started writing my blog, my original intent was to connect with and help those struggling with infertility like we had. An unexpected benefit is that I started making connections of my own. Finally, I truly discovered that I am not alone in my childless not by choice life.
A few of my favorite infertility, childless, childfree blogs
Life without baby– Lisa Manterfield is a self-proclaimed “infertility survivor” and writes insightful blogs about how to live life without children. I’m particularly a fan of “Whiny Wednesdays,” which give childless women a safe place to discuss topics like baby showers, feelings of unworthiness, and how to answer (funny, not funny) questions like, “Do you want my kids?!”
It’s Positive!– Meredith is still in the midst of her infertility battle and is surviving by holding tightly to her faith. I enjoy reading her uplifting blogs and am grateful that she reminds me to turn to His Word when I am struggling (because embracing infertility is an ongoing journey).
Our Misconception– Chris and Candace struggled with infertility for seven years before finally getting pregnant with their “Jellybean.” Although they are not childless and do discuss parenting after infertility, I enjoy reading their thoughtful posts. They are thankful for their lives and have a positive attitude, incorporating a lot of humor, along with some serious topics (like racism).
A couple of my favorite closed Facebook groups
With these, you will be asked to answer a few questions and be approved in order to make sure the group is right for you.
Childless Perks !! – This group is for childless NOT by choice who are trying to focus on the positive as they journey through the path of acceptance. It is fun, always good for a smile, and a welcome reprieve from the often overwhelming grief of childlessness. I recommend this group ONLY if you are at the point of acceptance. If you are still struggling with your childless life, please visit the Resources page to find a support group.
Childless Christians – As a Christian woman, I find freedom to be my authentic self in this group because I am allowed to freely discuss God and my faith. While not all posts are religious, it is nice to be part of a faith-based childless group.
Not So Mommy…™
As for my blogs on Not So Mommy…™, I talk about our diagnosis and our ten year struggle. But more importantly, I try to focus on how I finally embraced (and continue to embrace) my infertility. To do this, I had to redefine momhood for myself. That meant embracing my roles as dog mom, aunt, host mom, and wife.
Although being infertile is a big part of my story, it is only part of my story. Through Not So Mommy…™, I try to show that it is possible to live a joyful, baby-free life. I pray that my blog inspires and uplifts others to embrace their imperfectly perfect lives, too.
I hope that you’ll Join the Community and embrace this journey with me. Visit and comment often because one thing that makes infertility more bearable is knowing that there are others out there just like you…